Welcome to October, we’re in the thick of Pumpkin Spice Season and heading towards the day where sugar rushes happen: Halloween. The day that was in the holy trinity of Kid Holidays: winter holidays like Christmas or Hanukkah, Halloween, and your birthday. That day where as kids we planned for months how we wanted our imaginations to manifest on our bodies.
Some of us bought costumes at the store in a package, some of us mixed things from home with accessories from the store, and some of us had completely homemade costumes. Then you grab your pillowcase and go on the hunt in the (hopefully) cool, crisp autumn air: you’re on the search for candy; if you’re lucky, you’ll get king size candy bars, but you’ll probably get a lot of fun size candy…and hopefully none of the dreaded pennies or raisins. If you’re like me and you had a sibling, you might’ve dumped that pillow case out when you got home and traded candy – I never liked the candy with coconut (sorry if you like those!), so those would go to pay part of the parent tax (now that I am an adult…I understand why my parents required us to tithe!) and I would trade the candy I liked and vice versa.
So now that I am an adult, what’s the season of Trick or Treat about? My life has definitely given me more tricks than treats – cancer is one of the ultimate tricks. Hey, and with blood draws…aren’t phlebotomists just medical vampires? You know if vampires were real, would they be repelled by blood cancer patients or would we be some kind of special blood that they seek out? Maybe we’d be like fine wine?
Now that I had that odd tangent, can we recapture our childhoods while going through cancer? I think some of us might be able to – we need distractions, why not turn to our years of imagination? Find that inner child and sit them down for a chat – why not do something silly for Halloween? If you are on treatment where you lose hair, why not try to make of it what you can? Find a costume where you can advertise that bald head! Or one where you can wear a wig without having to deal with your hair! Pass out some candy in a costume – if you get any trick or treaters, that is. When I was a kid, we got a lot of trick or treaters, but since I grew up (and the neighborhood grew up)…we haven’t really gotten any trick or treaters as the world has turned to Trunk or Treats as a solution to walking door-to-door. Teaching kids that it is safe to go to strangers trunks is definitely an interesting choice, but hey – candy!
This is spooky season. The leaves change color, the weather gets cooler, and the days slowly become shorter; with longer nights comes more time for our anxieties to manifest and the deep dark pit of sadness to draw us down. How do you deal with these emotions?
(I’m going to say how I deal with them, but tell me how you handle them! You can email, or message or tag me on Instagram.)
We all have our own coping mechanisms for handling these hard moments. I’m in an odd land: my cancer doesn’t have scans. I get a blood test called a flow cytometry every 84 days to check how my clinical trial is going. That’s how they check how on my cancer: they take a tube of blood, add dyes to it, then run the cells past a laser one cell at a time, and then the machine figures out what kind of cell each one is/what markers it displays. It sounds like witchcraft to me, which I suppose is appropriate for the season. My flow cytometry has been good for a while now, which is always a relief – but I always have a touch of anxiety every visit, especially if my regular blood tests are any bit abnormal beyond my usual.
I deal with the anxiety through a variety of ways – I’ll listen to music on the way home from my regular visit to the clinical trial team, I’ll watch videos on YouTube, maybe I’ll find a show to binge watch over the weekend while waiting for results, or maybe I’ll ask some friends if they want to hop on Zoom and chat – all of these are healthy ways to distract yourself while waiting for results. Other thinks that I don’t do, but maybe you’d like: going to the gym and getting in some exercise, going for a walk. (Most outdoor activities are not my thing.)
Last month, I went to Elephants & Tea’s and Young Adult Survivors United’s Young Adult Cancer Camp for the first time since 2024 and I would like to tell you guys how it was. It was… drumroll please… AWESOME! I got to meet so many cool people: some for the first time outside of Zoom, some I hadn’t seen since last time, and some I met for the first time ever.
Now, if I met one of you at camp and you are reading this: you are awesome! I had such a good time at camp with everyone I met! I know there were a bunch of people that I didn’t end up meeting – camp is “only” 100 people, but it feels like there are so many more people than that. To address the first concern a lot of people (especially past campers) might have: the food was good! It’s a YMCA camp, so do not expect amazing food, but it is definitely much better than something you would get at McDonald’s or from the freezer section. I did so many fun activities: archery (…yes, I was given a weapon with my motor skills – I didn’t injure anyone!), tie dye, a Healing Through Writing workshop, and bingo. Also, the talent show was fun! There was also a bonfire every night for s’mores (mmmm, marshmallow, chocolate, and graham cracker…what’s not to love?) where we roasted our own marshmallows.
Look at what I did that time!
Here’s me, meeting Perry Zimmerman for the first time! Yes, both of us exist outside of Zoom! I’m a bit tired after a seven hour road trip, though…
So as the weather gets colder and the leaves change color, think of what’s coming up. Find some ways to distract yourself if the anxiety monster rears its ugly head. Enjoy some fall flavors, even if the stores start to put out Christmas displays in October – you can still enjoy the season. Walk around and listen to the crunching of the leaves, let it teleport you back to a time when you maybe had fewer worries.
Enjoy your October, everyone: have a piece of candy!
Want to reach out to Cody with questions or a request to write on a specific topic? Send us an email at programs@cactuscancer.org or reach him on Instagram at @codyhatescancer!
