In this new blog series, Case Files: Creative Coping, we are highlighting the creative coping practices our community members enjoy outside of our programs. If you have a hobby or practice that you’d like to tell us about, please email programs@cactuscancer.org.
Today we’ll be hearing from Elizabeth, one of our amazing Cactus Cancer Society community members, and one of her many creative coping practices. Read on to learn more about how she found Dungeons and Dragons, how characters help her process her cancer experiences, and how she’s used long and short campaigns to connect with others!
Please introduce yourself! What’s your name, what are your pronouns, and where are you located?
Elizabeth Stone, she/her, Arlington Virginia.
How did you first find Cactus Cancer Society?
Through my fellow cancer pal, Christina!
What creative practice are you sharing with us today? How did you make your way to this hobby, and how long have you been practicing it?
I’m sharing about playing Dungeons & Dragons and being an occasional DM (Dungeon Master). I was invited by friends to join them in a campaign in 2022 and have been watching campaigns, playing, or creating one-shots basically every week since.
What is it about Dungeons and Dragons that you really enjoy?
I love board games and theatre, and D&D is kind of like a cross between both! It’s collaborative storytelling with rules. It’s a way to be a kid again, telling stories with your friends, but the rules create a strategy element. It’s fun to discover creative solutions as you surmount challenges in the story given the restrictions of the rules and mechanics.
It’s a very social hobby (which I long for feeling very alone most days), but in a way where you don’t have to talk about yourself! There’s a topic at hand that’s not daily life and its stressors. And in a good group, it’s really satisfying socialization. You’re working as a supportive team, all helping each other to find moments where you each get to shine with either character roleplay or combat/exploration mechanics. I’ve also created a few one-shots to bring other friends into the fold and have more people to play with!
Plus, watching professional live action campaigns is so cool. It’s like prestige TV, but where the visuals are mostly in the theatre of your mind, so it’s extra magical.
What is one of your favorite campaigns (for the uninitiated, campaigns are long form games played over days, weeks, months, or even years) or moments of the campaign you’ve created so far? Tell us more about it.
I really loved the first campaign I played. I was a rakish Tabaxi (cat person), a former pirate, and shameless flirt. I flirted with an NPC (non-player character) at the beginning of the campaign, and she turned out to be really important to the story. Because she kept showing up and I kept successfully flirting with her, it was delightful to realize I’d accidentally created a totally different power dynamic that our DM had not foreseen, and it absolutely changed the course of the story. Also, it’s always supremely satisfying to see the choices you made about the build of the character (their statistics, items, or feats) pay off when you’re able to pull off the narrative moments you’ve fantasized about or an enemy can’t find or attack you! I jumped from tree to tree once as my Tabaxi and these big bad snake people on the ground couldn’t do anything about it as I cast spells at them 😀
For the one shots I’ve made up, I was really proud to pull in both my former actor friends and also my mother-in-law to see the fun in the game. I did a lot of prep work with all of them to ensure they had a character that they connected to and were excited to play. The fun of the game is in giving people agency to make choices that matter to their character, and that give their characters moments to shine. It’s like conducting an orchestra, but one that’s improvising. And in leading new players, a good DM needs to be patient and encouraging. It’s really satisfying to see people realize that they can make any choice, can say anything, try anything, even if they don’t know the exact rules or mechanics. That it can still be fun without getting into the thick rulebook.
But yes, my mother-in-law came into our one shot extremely skeptical that she would enjoy playing, but afterwards, was excited to play more in future! I’d really like to write a whole campaign, but I’m also very happy having my DM run things in my main group because he’s super talented.
What do you feel is the relationship between your cancer experience and your D&D campaigns?
D&D can be both a distraction and a way to process. For distraction – It’s an adventure story and an escape from daily worries. Watching live play campaigns (like Critical Role or D20) provide extremely distracting, immersive storytelling with tension from the rolls of the dice. And there are stories of so many genres to happily interest you – you could be in a horror themed campaign, a fairy themed campaign, a space based campaign… and there are always plenty of other RPGs (role playing games) that don’t use the same rule set as D&D but also allow for collaborative storytelling!
For processing, a lot has to do with building your character. My two main characters have been either very dexterous/fast or very strong/hearty, neither of which I am. I can explore things in our collective imagination that I could never do in real life and that feels freeing. I also found myself working through emotional issues I’ve had since the pandemic of feeling abandoned by friends/society as an immunocompromised person and having a hard time learning how to forgive them. My first character, who I made in 2022, had been taken from his family and was all about forging a found family. My second character literally had her ability to forgive others stolen as a child, and was working to reclaim it. Both have been very interesting to think about in advance, but also see what’s come up naturally in the course of the story, to ask myself “Why am I feeling emotional about this scene?” or “What would this character do instead of me? Why?”
Dungeons and Dragons involves others. How do you hold your campaigns? And is there a community of other Dungeons and Dragon fans, online or in person, that you’ve connected with, and how?
I mostly play online with local friends. That’s how we started (when my husband and I were still isolating in 2022), but it works for them so they can put their kids to bed at home. Our DM sets up campaign art and tokens on online platforms like Roll20 or Foundry. Depending on the group of people and time of year, I’ve done one-shots in person, either masked or not! I’m on the Reddits for both D20 and Critical Role, but I haven’t connected with people there about my campaigns, just about the shared joy of being a viewer. I find there are lots of people to talk to about D&D in local board gaming or nerdy groups. But mostly I’m talking to the friends in my main campaign groups or other pre-D&D friends who play their own campaigns.
Is there any advice you’d give to someone who would like to start playing? Any particular start up costs, resources you’d suggest, or groups folks should be aware of?
To see if you want to play and see how the structure of the game works, I would watch Fantasy High on YouTube, or if you want to dive into a story that’s hundreds of hours, Critical Role campaigns 1 or 2. They’re all free, and Brennan Lee Mulligan / Matt Mercer are two of the best DMs out there. Both will give you a taste of what it looks like for a story to be told given this set of rules (though of course, don’t be intimidated by the professional voice actors doing accents or the budget they have for mini figurines or maps). I also like Ginny Di on YouTube for explainer videos on how to play, etc.
Then, finding a group is notoriously tricky sometimes. See if a local game store, comic shop, library, or community center has an event for beginning players, and if they don’t ask them if they would host one or point you towards a local group/resource. Maybe there’s a Meetup group for D&D or RPGs you could find. Dndbeyond.com has resources for new players, including location based searches for groups, but I haven’t used that myself. Bonus – you could spend $0 to start playing – you just would need paper, a pen, and a device that has the internet to roll dice. But plenty of people buy dice, special campaign notebooks, mini figurines, etc because it brings them joy!
Do you practice any other creative mediums?
I try to, yes, but I’m much less dedicated to them than D&D. I like to make sticker layouts in my journal and scrapbook pieces of my life in there. I’d like to draw and paint more and I sing when I’m able. I also tutor English, and I’d like to think I get to be creative in making up lesson plans and how to help my students!
Is there anything I didn’t ask that you want to tell us about?
D&D is really fun and cool. It’s not just for guys, you’re not always in a dungeon, and you don’t need to be in a ubiquitous Med/Renn fantasy land. Imagine any character or setting, and tweak the flavor of the rules. Make a Barbie themed D&D campaign where you fight the patriarchy. Play around in the Star Wars rule set or fit those side rules to a different space/futurism world!
Finally, give us a shameless brag, and tell us something you’re proud of! This can be an accomplishment, a piece of cool news, or something you’re really good at doing.
I’m really cool in general, obvs. My characters that I’ve played have both been badass, and I feel like I made fun choices that weren’t necessarily “optimized” to have them be strong and have lots of shenanigans! Also, I commissioned artwork of our party of characters after our first campaign ended, and I did a great job soliciting info from my group – the portrait is gorgeous and just what we wanted! (See above!)
Thank you so much for sharing your time, energy, and incredible hobby with us, Elizabeth!
