Welcome to April, the fourth month of the year, that month when allergy season really starts hitting; it’s also a month with an important week for our community: Adolescent & Young Adult (AYA) Cancer Week. When’s AYA Cancer Week? It’s an easy one to remember: the first week of April. So, this year it will be from April 6th through 10th.
What It Actually Feels Like to Be a Young Adult With Cancer
So, what does AYA week mean to us? It can mean whatever we want; it could be a reminder to us that fertility preservation is often overlooked or not mentioned, or when we are told about it, it may not be financially feasible (or maybe we just don’t have the time it takes to preserve). It could be a reminder of us being the youngest in the waiting room by decades, being asked, “Who are you visiting?” or, if you go to an appointment with your parents, “Oh, what’s your parents’ date of birth?”; a reminder of The Look Of Pity, the “Oh, you poor thing…” that all of us have gotten (or at least felt like we’ve gotten) at least once.
It can also be a reminder of the good things: the people we’ve met in the community, the fun things we’ve done through the various organizations in the community, the moments of unexpected laughter that I hope all of you have had at least once – who doesn’t benefit from a belly laugh when you are having a bad day? If you don’t have any cancer friends, AYA Week is a great time to meet some future friends! Why not check out some of the weekly drop-in programs Cactus Cancer offers, like Sketchy Business on Tuesday the 7th, Coffee and Oodles on Wednesday the 8th, or 30 Minute Tune-Up on Thursday the 9th? There’s also Elephant’s and Tea’s weekly Happy Hour on Friday the 10th – it’s a social group that takes place from 6:30 to 8:30 PM eastern every Friday that you can join at any time. Or do you need something to acknowledge the emotions we feel during cancer? Then check out Elephants & Tea’s monthly program STEEP on April 7th from 7:00-8:30 PM Eastern? April’s STEEP will be on Anger, which is a topic that I think all of us are familiar with.
Holding Grief and Honoring Those We’ve Lost
Thinking of our community can also conjure some sad things. Our community has lost a lot of people in the last twelve months – I won’t list names because I don’t want to leave anyone out, but it’s been an unfair number of friends that all of us have lost (any number is unfair). Their light and laughter have been snuffed out far before it should’ve been. We can, we should, remember them however we feel is appropriate. Did you have a friend who liked to say “Howdy” at random in the group chat? Pick up the “Howdy” mantle and type it in his honor. Did you have a friend who would sign off calls by telling everyone he loved them? Maybe pepper that into your conversations, especially in this community. This year, Cactus Cancer is holding a drop-in workshop, The Inner Canvas: The Things We Carry on Wednesday, April 15th from 6-8 PM Eastern where we can honor the ones we have lost through short poems and there will be a moment set aside during the gathering to remember our loved ones (however you must submit information by April 13th – check the page for more details!).
An April That Changed Everything
I have an odd relationship with April because this month marks 11 years since I got a phone call telling me that I had a “hematological malignancy of some kind.” April 7th, 2015, was the first time I had ever seen an oncologist. Three days later, I got that aforementioned phone call. Two days later? I was getting an ultrasound at the local hospital on a Sunday, a Sunday morning, no less! Three days after that? My first bone marrow biopsy! Yeah. April 2015 was a bit of a busy month in the Land of Cody, wasn’t it? That was just the first half of the month! You think things would slow down, right? Nope! Two days after that bone marrow biopsy, my mom noticed my feet were purple and swollen (I didn’t notice because of the post-bone marrow biopsy pain meds), and to the ER we went! I ended up staying in the hospital for two days – they never figured out what caused the purple feet, much to the chagrin of my oncologist (every once in a while, he’ll jokingly bring it up – he was supposed to be on call, but swapped with another doctor). Later that month, the results of my bone marrow biopsy came in, and he gave me the names of two other doctors I could see for a second opinion, because he did not want to give a 24-year-old a diagnosis of a one in five million cancer. That, to me, is a sign of a good doctor.
What April Means Now
We only have a week for our community as a whole, but I would like to note that April is the month for three cancers: Esophageal, Head and Neck, and Testicular.
What kind of relationship do you have with the month of April? Do you have any good memories? Bad memories? A happy Easter? Memories of a good spring? Maybe a fun time in school as a kid, since this is that point in the school year where everyone starts to get antsy no matter where you live, regardless of whether or not your last day of school was in May or June (at least in America) – since by this point in the school year, the kids know their teachers and vice versa, so things are settled down compared to the start of the year. Think of your childhood memories of this time of year – when the budding flowers begin to bloom, and noses begin to drip until our allergy meds kick in. What was your April like? What’s it like now?
I’d also like to remind everyone that it is the final two and a half weeks of the Young Adult Cancer Advocate of the Year award competition! This is the best time to donate! Give a dollar to the person you want to win, share their social media posts, tell your friends about your favorite(s) – remember, whoever raises the most by the end of the competition takes home that title! The winner will be announced at the Cactus Cancer 11th Birthday Celebration, which will be a five-hour virtual celebration with four art tutorials!
Want to reach out to Cody with questions or a request to write on a specific topic? Send us an email at programs@cactuscancer.org or reach him on Instagram at @codyhatescancer
