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Fresh Ink: Cancer Jokes

In Unspoken Ink, one of our most popular programs here at Cactus Cancer Society, our participants write in response to prompts, ranging from pictures to quotes to poetry. We are proud to share the work of our writers here on our blog, including this piece, which is part of a series entitled Fresh Ink.

We value the voices of our community members and would love to share your words. If you would like to contribute to our blog here at Cactus Cancer Society, please email 

Cancer Jokes by Caralynn Hampson

What antiseptics do dinosaurs use?

Chloro-rex-idine or iodino 

What is it called when a salamander has a low ANC?

They’re newt-ropenic

What do you call a Wookiee with genetic risk for breast cancer?


Which blood test gives constructive feedback?


What do you call a tumor made of punctuation marks?

A sar-comma

What do you call it when your port has good blood return?

A hepar-win

What happens if there is a frameshift meowtation?

There are abnormal purrtein pawducks

What kind of nurse is Barbie?

An ondollogy nurse

Which antinausea medication do animals use?


What do you call an impolite chemotherapy drug?


What kind of cancer treatment do legumes get?


What do you call the cancer treatment that consists of viral images?


Where does Google keep their genetic information?

In the chrome-osomes

What kind of chemo does a snowman get?


What do you use to take a dog’s blood pressure?

A blood pressure ruff 

Caralynn Hampson is a Ewings sarcoma survivor and is a college student double majoring in biostatistics and theology and religious studies.