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What Surviving Cancer Taught Me About My Sexuality

bed and bedside table

More and more, topics surrounding young adult cancer are making their way into the mainstream.  We’ve seen young adult cancer survivors in movies, television shows, books, the cover of Newsweek, and even peek into the pages of Vogue. Now, Bustle has published a piece by a dynamic young adult cancer survivor, Eva Taylor Grant.

“It doesn’t feel like anything remarkable to go home with someone for the first time post-cancer. In the moment it’s all about breath and touch, and my memory of sickness is far away. My body still has shadows of being ravaged by illness, but Josh* traces his unknowing fingers along my skin in a way that reminds me how powerful sharing a moment of softness can be. I’m excited by this new person who likes my short hair and my big thighs. When he throws me on his bed, and starts kissing me from my lips downward, I finally feel a sense of recklessness that I’ve been craving since I was told I could die at 19. But, as he reaches my chest, I hit the first major roadblock of having sex for the first time post-cancer. He bites my port scar. And I scream in pain.

Right then I learned, while in a new guy’s bed, clutching my chest, trying not to cry, that I wasn’t going to be able to separate my current desire for sex from my recent past as a cancer survivor. And as he listened when I explained my story, I could feel the energy between us slow down — it was then that I felt completely and utterly naked.”

Read more of this riveting person narrative here.