To celebrate our 2-year anniversary of being a nonprofit, Lacuna Loft is bringing back our top 31 articles from our archives! This is Flashback #15: The Challenges of Surviving Cancer, written by Heather. These 31 articles are the best of the best and we’re very happy to share them with you again! The countdown continues tomorrow!
….I finished my last radiation treatment on a Friday, in mid-November, almost a year to the date after my diagnosis. When I walked out of the room, the nurses were there with a little “Certificate of Completion.” I thanked them, said I hoped to never see them again. It was a lame attempt at a joke, but I meant it in all honesty. I never wanted to have to go through that again.
I sat in my car and stared at this silly certificate. Yay for me! I finished all my treatment!! I was officially a survivor. Why did I feel so lost and empty? This is the part of being a survivor that no one tells you about. Sure you hear the advice of “Live every day to the fullest” and “You can really appreciate all you have.” All great things yes, but they gloss over what is really felt.
As I sat in my car in the parking lot of the cancer center I began to cry. I cried out of relief, I cried out of frustration, but mostly I cried out of grief. Why grief? All I had known for the last year of my life was spending every waking moment aware of my body and the battle that was raging in my cells. I paid close attention every day to the changes in my body to make sure it was doing what it was supposed to and responding to treatment. For the last 30 days, I had spent 2 hours a day at this cancer center getting radiation. THIS was my life, fighting cancer, and now, I was done…
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