Young adult cancer comes with pamphlets. Port scars. Schedules. Acronyms. Follow-up appointments. 

It does not come with instructions.

There’s no chapter on how to tell someone your diagnosis, how to handle the grief that comes, or what to do when your family and friends feel like they don’t understand. There isn’t an appendix on dating while bald, marriage while sick, or how to navigate cancer ghosting. You won’t find a flowchart for “Why am I angry even though I’m alive?” You won’t find an FAQ for how to handle caregiving without burning out. And trust me when I say there isn’t a secret footnote explaining why your body feels unfamiliar or why losing your hair feels so emotional. 

And yet, the questions keep coming.

At Cactus Cancer Society, we hear them all the time. In DMs. In workshops. In the pause before someone says, “Okay, this might sound weird but…”

It’s not weird. It’s young adulthood colliding with cancer. And that’s complicated stuff. So I’m making space for the questions that don’t fit neatly into a medical visit, the ones you Google at 2 am, or that you feel scared to say outloud. 

I’m Perrie (okay, it’s me, Lauren Morales, the Senior Program Coordinator writing under a pseudonym!), a licensed clinical social worker and young adult Hodgkin Lymphoma survivor who has spent years working alongside young adults impacted by cancer. I’ve sat in hospital rooms, on both sides of the chair. I’ve been in the infusion rooms and support groups. I’ve also helped support folks throughout their treatment and in the post-treatment “WTF just happened” space. I’ve heard the questions people whisper and the ones they laugh off (I’ve had them myself…..) And I know how isolating it can feel to carry them alone.

Ask Perrie is Cactus Cancer Society’s new advice column for young adults navigating every phase of the cancer experience, from diagnosis to treatment to survivorship to recurrence, and for co-survivors walking alongside them. This isn’t therapy. It’s perspective. Context. Language for the things that feel hard to name. Honest, thoughtful responses grounded in real, lived, and professional experience.

This is where you can ask questions like:

I’m surviving, but I am so sad, and everyone keeps just telling me to be grateful. Does that make me ungrateful?
Is it bad that I can’t listen to my friends complain about “normal” things anymore?
How do I date in this body, and when do I know I’m ready?
Why does everyone think I’m strong when I feel completely and totally exhausted?
How do I deal with my friend ghosting me since I told them I was diagnosed?
How do I support my partner/family member without disappearing myself?
Who even am I now?

Each month, Perrie will answer submitted questions with nuance, compassion, and the occasional gentle reality check. Because you deserve answers that treat you like a whole person, not just a diagnosis. Questions will then be posted online in our blog, socials, and newsletter. 

Submit your question anonymously here.

Cancer didn’t come with instructions. Let’s write some together.