Happiness or Wholeness?

wholeness

When taking a break from work, there are a couple of blogs that I frequent.  One of them is Cup of Jo.  Earlier last year she talked about a quote on happiness that focused on switching our idea of life being about the pursuit of happiness to life being about the search for wholeness.

Everyone says we grow through pain and then as soon as they experience pain they say, “Quick! Move on! Cheer up!” I’d like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word “happiness” and to replace it with the word “wholeness.” Ask yourself, “Is this contributing to my wholeness?” and if you’re having a bad day, it is. – Hugh MacKay

Seriously, what an awesome idea.  In the world of young adult cancer survivors, caregivers, and young adult illness sufferers, not every moment is happy.  Often we can even feel put down by friends and family when we spend somewhat long stretches of time awkwardly dealing with the difficulties we face.  If we seek wholeness, togetherness, and companionship, happiness will happen along the way.

So, what do you think…happiness or wholeness?

Finding Stillness

finding stillness

Each week we are be exploring a restorative yoga pose or breathing technique with images/video and tips.  Check in at Lacuna Loft on Wednesdays to anchor your week with peace, grounding + community (and don’t forget to join the dialogue all week long by posting comments).  Excited to journey together!

After our holiday shuffle (next year’s #1 line dance?), I find myself worn out.  My mind and emotions are still spinning from all the people, conversations, travels, plans, and events.  My body is a little battered from the extra sugar and dairy and I have a bit of a cold.  I didn’t even really have or make time to think about new year’s resolutions or intentions.  Lucky for me, after driving 6 hours in the snow to get home, I’m here alone for almost 48 hours.  Just me, two dogs, a houseful of chores, and some quiet space.  Time to relearn the balance of work and rest, doing and being.

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This morning I had tea and watched the dogs play.  I took them out and then did some slow yoga on my mat (head cold + downward dog = won’t do that again).  I began unpacking our clothes and repacking our Christmas decorations.  I slowly ate breakfast while enjoying a new magazine.  I got on my computer to do those e-mail to-dos that pile up and then I got some paper and colored pens out to work on a timeline of 2014 (details below).  Then I did some dishes, walked the dogs, came to write this post, and am planning to do some reading with tea before dinner.

I’m noticing a pattern here…  Move around, find stillness.  Progress, reflection.  Left to its own devices, my day has been a resetting of rhythms.  How can I learn from this yearning inside me and protect these rhythms as the pace picks back up?  What could I add in once a day to remind me that I need daily reflection time, too?  Can we be people who remind EACH OTHER to make space for this important soul growth so we don’t just run over our lives?  (I’m saying that loudly to myself…)  

Here are a few ideas I had for finding the stillness in between the active parts of your day, including one fail-proof yoga pose to help you re-set at ANY time:

  • get a coloring book and do a page a day – invite a friend!
  • journal or free write for 20 minutes
  • drink a cup of tea or water slowly without doing ANYTHING ELSE!
  • meditate
  • take deep breaths through your nose with your eyes closed
  • turn off all your electronics and enjoy reading for 30 minutes
  • put on your favorite music and just move however your body wants to
  • play with a child or animal
  • take a mid-day savasana, “corpse pose” (described next!)

Savasana

  • wear comfortable and warm clothing
  • soft mat or rug to lay on
  • maybe a pillow, eye pillow, or blanket

Lie down on your back and spread your legs long and about 18” apart and rest your feet and ankles.  Spread your arms away from your body with your hands relaxed and palms facing up.  Close your eyes.  Feel your weight sink into the earth.  Notice how supported you are, how grounded.  Rest here for at least 5 minutes, letting go of all thoughts and control.  Mama Earth has got you!

Optional: You can choose to bend your knees slightly and add a pillow underneath to support your lower back (a more restorative version).  You can add an eye pillow or favorite stuffed animal over your eyelids for darkness.  You can add a blanket for warmth.  You can play music… whatever suits.

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New Year Timeline

(Note: my super thoughtful friend Laura does this every year, and I invite you to give it a whirl if you are still looking to make closure with one year and purpose for the next.)

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Start with a piece of paper and some colored writing instruments.  Split the timeline into 12 months somehow and then add details like where you’ve been, who you saw, what you learned, major milestones, etc.  I chose to use different colors to show different themes.  Notice what comes to light in the big picture ideas as you step your way into the new year!

Self Care In A Cup Of Tea

self care

While growing up, whenever I was stressed or having a bad day, my mother would always tell me to make myself a hot cup of tea and get down to whatever it is that I needed to focus on.  While my self care techniques are sometimes more elaborate than a simple cup of tea, the notion of taking time to do something for yourself, to recontrol your attitude and your environment is a very powerful one.

There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a nice cup of tea. – Bernard Paul Heroux

tea

How do you take control of a tough situation?  How do you de-stress of re-focus on your life at hand?  What methods of self care do you use?

With the holidays at hand, we are looking for self care techniques and ideas to help balance out of stress of the season and to share with our readers.  Email us your ideas and methods at info(at)lacunaloft(dot)com or comment below!

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Learning To Trust Yourself Again

Learning to trust myself again after having cancer was hard for me.  I didn’t enjoy needing to worry about self-care when taking care of myself hadn’t felt so complicated and time consuming before my diagnosis.  After feeling under the weather and run down for so long, I approached each slower than usual day with distrust and dislike.

Am I sure I feel under the weather? What if I’m just being lazy? What if I always feel like this from now on?

I learned though, that if I ignored my under the weather feelings, I woke up the next day with a fever.  If I took the day off, I woke up the next day feeling better.  To read more about how I learned to tend to myself and to trust myself again, go to the rest of the post on I Had Cancer’s blog!

 

Steps To Reduce Stress As A Caregiver

I recently read a great article about reducing stress as a caregiver.  In the post, the author discusses, among other things, the importance of learning to channel your stress (since caregiving is an immensely stressful occupation)  and talking to your patient/loved one about what they are wanting out of your care.  

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Whenever I Feel Anxious…I Wiggle My Toes!

So…maybe this is a weird thing to share but whenever I am feeling anxious about something…

I wiggle my toes.

I started noticing it as my mother’s health declined, and again as the frequency of my doctor visits and trips to the hospital increased.  As soon as the needle came out or the waiting began, I realized that my toes would silently wiggle in my shoes.  My mother used to hold her wrist to her forehead while propping her arm on an armrest or laying down.

What do you do to self-sooth?  Tell us and we’ll add them here!