Cancer doesn’t just change your body. It can reshape your identity, your plans, and your connection to the world around you. For many young adults, the emotional side of cancer can hit just as hard (if not harder) as the physical side, and it often lingers long after treatment ends.
Let’s get one thing straight: struggling doesn’t mean you’re weak. You’re responding to an extraordinary situation. The fear of recurrence, the brain fog, the sadness, the grief, the “what now?” questions, they’re normal reactions to an experience that turns life upside down! You are a human going through something extraordinary.
Before you dive in further into this article, I want to invite you to take a breath and check in with yourself. Notice your emotional weather. If this feels heavy, pause and come back later. This content is here to support you, not overwhelm you, when you are ready.
Below I’m going to talk about some of the common emotional responses to cancer, some of my lived experience, and recommendations I have to help support yourself inside of these experiences.
The Emotional Whiplash of Cancer
When you hear “you have cancer,” your body can go into survival mode. Suddenly you are focused on making it to your next round of chemo or radiation, it can be common to feel as though you blinders on to the rest of the world while you navigate treatment. As your body begins to navigate the uncertainty of cancer, you might start to notice mood changes like depression, anxiety, or panic.
You might feel it as restlessness before scans, dread before appointments, or sadness that doesn’t quite lift. These reactions are common, and I’ve had them! They’re not character flaws, they’re how your mind and body respond to uncertainty and loss. Even if treatment ends, these symptoms can stick around like uninvited guests or amplify. For me, this has felt like emotional whiplash. I went from auto-pilot in treatment to feeling completely overwhelmed in survivorship.
A quality therapist can help you identify what you’re feeling and give those feelings room to breathe. Healing isn’t about being positive all the time; sometimes it’s about being curious, brave, or just willing to try again tomorrow. Research shows that therapists such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Mindfulness are tools that can help survivors navigate the emotional whiplash of cancer. For me, I’ve found that Somatic therapies like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and IFS (Internal Family Systems) to be very helpful in working through trauma.
And something to remember small steps matter: getting out of bed, texting a friend, or joining a support group all count as movement toward healing.
The Grief That No One Talks About
Cancer brings loss in so many forms: health, independence, fertility, friendships, even the future you once imagined. This kind of grief doesn’t always get the validation it deserves. In psychology we often call this disenfranchised grief: grief that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, socially supported, or that is misunderstood or trivialized. People might say, “At least you’re alive,” when what you really need is validation and, “I know this is hard, I see you.”
Grief after cancer isn’t linear. You might feel peace one day and frustration the next. That’s okay. Think of grief as something you grow around, it doesn’t disappear, but you slowly learn to live alongside it. Grief isn’t a failure to move on. It’s evidence of how deeply you’ve lived, loved, and changed. Making space for your feelings of grief, talking about it with other YAs or survivors can often be an important step in learning how to hold grief compassionately.
Body Image, Identity, and the Self You See Now
Many survivors struggle to recognize themselves after cancer. Scars, hair loss, swelling, weight changes……they’re visible reminders of what you’ve been through. And sometimes, it’s not just “I look different,” it’s “I feel different.”
Maybe intimacy feels different. Maybe mirrors feel like strangers. Research shows one in three survivors experiences lasting body image distress. These feelings are real and they’re workable.
Therapies that include body awareness, self-compassion, and narrative work can help you rebuild trust with your body. The goal isn’t to “get over it.” It’s to reclaim your story and reconnect with the self you see now.
When the Body Remembers: Medical Trauma
Cancer can be traumatic, period. The diagnosis, the hospital smells, the needles, the waiting rooms. Even years later, certain sounds or places can trigger physical reactions like nausea, panic, or tension. That’s called medical trauma, and it’s common.
You’re not overreacting. Your nervous system learned to protect you. Trauma-informed therapies, like EMDR, somatic work, or CPT (Cognitive Processing Therapy), can help your body learn safety again.
You can heal. You can trust your body again. It just takes time and the right kind of support.
Finding a Therapist Who Gets It
You deserve care from someone who understands that cancer doesn’t end when treatment does. A good therapist can help you process what’s happened, rebuild your sense of self, and learn new ways to live meaningfully with what’s changed.
Here’s how to start:
How to Find a Therapist
Search for professionals who specialize in oncology, chronic illness, or trauma.
- American Psychosocial Oncology Society (APOS): Therapist directory focused on oncology support.
- Psychology Today and TherapyDen: Let you search by specialty, identity, and location.
- Inclusive Therapists: A directory centering BIPOC, LGBTQ+, and marginalized communities.
Most cancer centers also have social workers or psychologists who can refer you to trusted providers. And if in-person therapy feels hard to manage, telehealth sessions can make accessing care easier.
What to Look For
Credentials matter, but comfort matters more. Research shows the therapeutic relationship, how safe and understood you feel, is the strongest predictor of healing (Wampold & Imel, 2015).
When interviewing therapists, you can ask:
- Have you worked with people affected by cancer or chronic illness?
- How do you support clients with medical trauma or scanxiety?
- What’s your approach to grief or body image?
Trust your instincts. You deserve a therapist who feels like a safe space, not another appointment to endure.
Mental Health Resources for Young Adults Impacted by Cancer
If you’re ready to start looking for support but not sure where to begin, Cactus Cancer Society has compiled a directory of trusted mental health and peer support resources just for young adults impacted by cancer.
Here’s a preview of what you’ll find there:
Inclusive & Culturally Affirming Directories
- Inclusive Therapists — Find BIPOC, LGBTQ+, and affirming therapists across the U.S.
- Therapy for Black Girls — A thriving community and therapist directory for Black women and girls.
- Therapy for Latinx — Connect with Latinx-identifying, culturally responsive therapists.
- Asian Mental Health Collective — Community and therapist directory focused on reducing stigma in Asian communities.
- StrongHearts Native Helpline — 24/7 culturally grounded emotional support for Native Americans (1-844-7NATIVE).
Affordable Therapy Options
- Open Path Collective — Sliding-scale therapy starting around $40–$70 per session.
- TherapyDen — Inclusive therapist directory with filters for race, gender, and faith.
- Psychology Today — Comprehensive national therapist directory with location and insurance filters.
Specialized Support
- Neurodivergent Therapists Collective — For neurodivergent individuals seeking affirming care.
- HeadsUpGuys — Resources for men’s mental health.
- Give An Hour — Free counseling for veterans, survivors of violence, and those facing illness.
These resources were chosen with young adults in mind — people who need care that’s flexible, inclusive, and holistic. Take your time exploring. The right fit is out there.
The Strength to Keep Going
Taking care of your mental health isn’t about fixing what’s wrong. It’s about nurturing what’s still growing. You’ve already made it through so much, that’s resilience! Therapy, support, and community can help you move from just surviving to truly living.
If you’re ready to find support that gets it, explore our full Mental Health & Peer Support Resources for Young Adults Impacted by Cancer. You’re not alone in this. Help is here — and you deserve it.
References
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