5 Pieces of Advice About Sexual Desire from the Awkward Auntie

We know Valentine’s Day is coming up, so we thought it would be the perfect time to remind you of some of the Awkward Auntie’s advice! Here are 5 of our favorite pieces of advice about improving your sexual desire and pleasure from the Awkward Auntie.

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Quick Poll: Sexuality After Young Adult Cancer

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Marloe Esch, RN., is preparing to speak with a group of oncology clinicians about Young Adult sexuality after cancer and is looking for some feedback.  If you’re interested in helping out, please fill out the following poll anonymously, as soon as you can.  Thank you!  You are helping the next young adult diagnosed with cancer by sharing your story and your experiences!

Awkward Auntie Question No. 11

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Ever had a question about relationships or sex that you just can’t ask your oncology care provider?  Ever felt too shy to ask a nurse or doctor a question but really need the answer?  Now you can ask those questions and get answers from Dr. Anne Katz, the Awkward Auntie!

Question: My tolerance for sex and/intimacy (never strong) has nearly disappeared. How do I recover this connection with my husband?  I don’t have cancer but have had a BSO in the past 6mos, am BRCA+, and have had ongoing elevated numbers. I am also on HRT. (Previvor)

Awkward Auntie: This is a common issue in part due to the loss of ovarian hormones that leads to early menopause that is way worse than ‘normal’ menopause. You have been through a LOT in the recent past along with the knowledge that you are at high risk due to your BRCA + status – libido is a head thing and stress and worry will often take away desire. You don’t mention if the hormone therapy you are taking is local or systemic….. is vulvo-vaginal dryness adding to your lack of interest.

When you say that your tolerance is low or non-existent, are you talking about pain with sexual touch or activity or loss of interest? These are two separate but connected issues. Talking to a sexuality counselor can also help – your partner is likely deeply affected by what you have been through.

One way to increase desire that has good results is the practice of mindfulness – there is a new book that has just been published that I highly recommend. Get a copy and read through it – no pills or potions, just using your head to help!

Better Sex through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire by Dr. Lori Brotto (Greystone Books)

You can learn more about this great program, find the answers to past questions, and submit a question of your own by going here!

More about the Awkward Auntie program:

Dr. Anne Katz, also known as the Awkward Auntie, is a certified sexuality counselor and nurse who has written a couple of books about young adults and cancer – and all the things that happen to your body, relationships, and sex during and after treatment.  She will be answering any and all questions that you send to AwkwardAuntie@lacunaloft.org or that you submit in the form below. You don’t have to give your name or other identifying information – but it might be helpful for her to know how you identify yourself by gender, your age and what kind of cancer and treatment you had.

YOU CAN ASK HER ANYTHING…. Don’t hold back!  Your questions will be answered periodically and posted on our Awkward Auntie page.

Speaker Series Talk: Everything you wanted to know about sex and relationships after cancer

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A few months ago we launched our newest program here at Lacuna Loft, the Speaker Series!  Our 6th Speaker Series Talk is now live!  You can now watch Dr. Anne Katz talk about Everything you wanted to know about sex and relationships after cancer.

Dr. Katz is an expert in the field of sexual health and wellness after cancer and further specializes in young adults.  Her talk is a must see.  Plus, if you want to submit your own question about sex and relationships after young adult cancer, you can do so anonymously in our Awkward Auntie program.

In this open and honest conversation about sex and relationships, Dr. Anne Katz will share the advice she has given to many YAs during and after treatment for cancer. While YAs usually find their way with dating and new or altered relationships, they often need some support and guidance, or merely an open ear and heart to help them through a challenging time. In this event for Lacuna Loft, Dr Katz will talk about disclosing your cancer history to a new potential partner, how to deal with scars and missing body parts and anything else that YOU need to be answered.

Psst…want to submit a topic for a future Speaker Series?  You can do so here!