I so much prefer when I know all the answers, when I have it ‘figured out’ or at least can look the part.  I like being the one with experience, age, and usually a little bit of an attitude of superiority.  It fells good and safe.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of areas in my life where I do not have the answers – if there are any to be found.  I really feel uncomfortable when I am faced with situations where I can’t have everything figured out, I get anxious and snarky.  Surprises or changed plans trigger this panic in me – what do I say?  What do I bring to the dinner party?  I want people to see me as put together ‘right’ and if I can’t manage that image, I feel lost.  This lurking, scheming voice in my mind wants to look better, sound better, and be better than the people around me – and ‘better’ than how I really am.

And then there is this yoga thing.  The first Sutra points me to beginning the inquisition of yoga… and I’m a real beginner here.  I don’t have the knowledge that so many people around me have.  I don’t have the experience that many teachers my age have under their belts.  I feel tempted to pretend, to reply vaguely to leave space for people thinking I’ve been doing this forever.  But it feels so icky because it is totally untrue.  I play the impostor and then I lose a chance to learn because I’m hiding instead of being real and just asking the question.  I have some threads of this yoga web that I’m clinging to and I do need help and I do need other people.  And I have trouble admitting that.

But once I do, I can imagine another narrative.  Instead of only getting the surface of connection with the people around me, I can ask the deep questions that I’m afraid of – and connect over the discoveries in the reply.  I can be that awesome person that wants others to share, to teach me everything they know, to soak up the humanity-experience-compassion that they have grown in their lives.  I would love for someone to come up to ME and say, “I think you have so much wonderful ____ in you – could you teach me?”… so let me begin by being that to others.  And oh, what I could learn and enjoy along the way!  Because it seems like it would be much more fun to be honest with where I’m at (and where I’m not) and get to explore the journey of learning, one step at a time.

Yoga daily reminds me that we are called to be beginners in this awesome, expansive, humility-embracing kind of way.  In a way that draws people together, opens them up, and shares the light we all have within us.  And it is as hard as anything to wear the ‘beginner’ hat all the time.  But I believe that it will be more rewarding over the long haul.  So I will practice being a beginner, always.  Maybe we can wear this hat together.

Here’s a stretch that really reminds me that I am just beginning the journey into my hamstrings…

Paschimottanasana/Forward Fold

Ingredients:

– lots of pillows

– comfy place to sit on the floor

Sit on the ground with your legs stretched straight in front of you.  Pile some pillows on your lap.  Stretch your spine and reach as tall as you are able in your back.  Gently fold over your legs onto the pillows.  Rest your head to one side.  Breathe deeply and evenly through the nose.  Sink in here, supported by the pillows, for 5 minutes.  Switch your head and adjust (you may get deeper into the pose) and then hold for 5 more minutes.

Think of an area of your life where you want to embrace being a beginner.  Imagine how free it will feel to wear that hat instead of the “all together” hat.  Trust that where you are at on your path is enough.

Each week we are be exploring a restorative yoga pose or breathing technique with images/video and tips.  Check in at Lacuna Loft on Wednesdays to anchor your week with peace, grounding + community (and don’t forget to join the dialogue all week long by posting comments).  Excited to journey together!

I got back from holiday travels and decided that the new year meant new arrangements for my house.  I measured and cut little shapes to move around the paper drawn version of our living room.  I talked to my husband.  We cleared out all the little things like lamps, guitars, rugs, and dog toys.  And we started to move.  We pulled things out of one room and into the next.  We tried the long couch here and there.  We took everything out of one room and put it in another.  We sat from different angles and took in the view.  We weighed the pros and cons and all the things we value for a space – comfort, view, conversation friendliness.  We got up, shifted things again.

Two hours later, we arrived at an arrangement almost the same as the original.  We only decided to move the TV from one room to another and perched it on our mantle.  So, two hours of work and we were back where we started.  Which, it occurred to me, was like most epic journeys.  The myth of the hero.  We go, we discover, wrestle through challenge, meet adversity, grow, reflect, change… and wind up back in the same place, only different inside.

Like my living room, there are parts of my life that may look mostly the same on the outside over the course of a year (ok, I did cut my hair pretty short last March) but that have undergone a massive process of growth.  How I think about my relationships has changed through some hard pondering and conversations.  My spirituality has changed language and expression with a huge embrace of yoga though a lot of the outward expressions of who I am remain similar.  How I choose to think about my husband’s work and its time demands is slowly evolving and giving me more freedom to love boldly.

But for me the process doesn’t stop there.  We come back around to these ‘same’ places… these almost the same places.  And then we begin again.  We learn more, we grow deeper, we dig further into relationships, beliefs, our stories and patterns and choices… and we come back different again.  It doesn’t stop.  What part of your life has these cyclical patterns of growth in it?  Use these yoga poses to spend time contemplating cycles of change and expansion in your life.

Easy Pose (Sukhasana) or Lotus (Padmasana)

Ingredients

– two or three pillows

– a blanket or soft floor

Easy Pose:

Come on to the floor on your seat.  Bring your legs out in front of you with knees bent.  Cross your legs and draw your ankles in towards your body (sitting cross legged).  Check that your ankles are under the opposite knee.  Place a pillow under each knee so that it is resting, grounded.  Maybe even place another pillow under your seat so that your spine can stretch tall.  Feel the energy in your body move through the full circle of your legs.

Half Lotus Pose:

Begin cross legged on the floor.  Lift the right knee up and bend it so much that your right thigh and calf hug.  Keep the ankle close to your seat and rotate in the hip socket to move the knee/leg wide around.  Place your right foot in your left hip crease.  Place a pillow under each knee and sit in this pose of ‘full circle’ legs and feet.  This is half lotus.  After a few minutes, release and work the left side.

(Bonus: For some extra clarity, sit with your eyes closed and your hands in gyan mudra – thumbs and pointer fingers touching!)

Each week we are be exploring a restorative yoga pose or breathing technique with images/video and tips.  Check in at Lacuna Loft on Wednesdays to anchor your week with peace, grounding + community (and don’t forget to join the dialogue all week long by posting comments).  Excited to journey together!

Sometimes being soft towards ourselves can be the hardest work of all.

I started doing yoga because it was convenient.  There was a dance studio two blocks from my house with a class and I started going.  It was my “off” day from other more strenuous workouts.  Often I would even go for a run before class so that it felt like a real workout.  I ran regularly and did barre classes that worked all my muscle groups till I shook.  I was teaching my body who was in control and I felt like I needed to sweat (the more the merrier) for movement to ‘count’.  Yoga was a break.

So when something in yoga started calling to a deeper part of me and I started going to classes maybe twice or three times a week, I wanted them to be challenging.  If a teacher offered a modification to make the pose harder, I did it.  Even if I wasn’t really ready for it.  I wanted to sweat and feel sore.  I went to hot yoga and power vinyasa and would even work the studio package and sometimes go to more than one class a day.  I loved my teacher training days because I was physically working my body towards its limits.

And then I moved, found a studio to teach at, and was subbing a lot of gentle yoga.  At first, I wasn’t even sure what gentle yoga meant.  Like, do we put pillows under our head during headstands?  So I went to a few classes and I did some research on gentle and restorative poses, took lots of notes, planned a class, practiced it a few times before teaching… and loved it.

As I was practicing being so hard on my body, I was also being hard on myself in my thoughts.  Tough girl, independent, in control, always put-together.  I had standards for myself that were difficult to reach, and a lot of “should”s.  And entering into a whole hour (or more!) of gentle yoga where I was meant to move slowly, purposefully, supported, and restfully… was magical to say the least.  For the whole hour I was allowed to nurture myself in body and mind.  Sensitive thoughts that had remained hidden away from my strong pushy self began to pop up and teach me more about myself.  A deep sense of peace and calm filled me.  I didn’t need the hardest pose to feel satisfied.

Check out this supported version of bridge.  I know, full wheel (urdva don urasana) is the hardest variation, then bridge, and then this is the ‘easiest’.  Which is awesome because it means we can do it anytime in the day when we need to practice a little self-love and find a little peace.

Ingredients:

one big stiff pillow or block

soft floor

Lay down flat on your back with the block or pillow near you at your side.  Bend your knees and plant your feet on the ground, about hips distance apart.  Reach your arms down and see if you can touch your heels with your fingers, this is a good distance for most people but adjust as you need.  Feel your shoulder blades against the floor.  Feel your feet deep into the earth.  Press into your feet and raise your hips into the air.  Place the support under your sacrum – that triangle shaped bone just above the tail of your spine.  Rest your lower back down onto the support.  Breathe deep and full, expanding your lungs with each inhale.  Feel your chest rise and lift towards your chin.  Revel in the simplicity and support of this pose and enjoy the benefits of a little TLC!

Have you tried this support version of the yoga bridge pose before?  We’d love to hear your experiences as you journey!

Each week we are be exploring a restorative yoga pose or breathing technique with images/video and tips.  Check in at Lacuna Loft on Wednesdays to anchor your week with peace, grounding + community (and don’t forget to join the dialogue all week long by posting comments).  Excited to journey together!

Restor(y)ing Mind+Body+Soul (pt. 4)

One day during my sophomore year of high school I woke up with hips.  These new thigh-toppers started running into sides of counters and hurting worse than a funny bone.  They increased my pant size (yes, low waist/hip-huggers were newly in style).  My top half never caught up.  I categorized these woman things, my hips, and myself, as bottom-heavy.  Pear shaped.  Unsightly.  There was not much I could do – but I did spend a lot of time wearing skits to attempt to hide them away. 

For years, my self image was so wrapped around my hips that I missed out on enjoying the movement, expression, and abilities of my body.  I can run!  I can play!  I can hug and eat and sleep!  So much of the ‘health’ and fitness culture myopically focuses on an ‘ideal’ shape, a goal.  Besides sending us on a rat race against our bodies to seek some elusive end joy (as if by practicing discontentment we can somehow arrive at contentment!)… we are missing out on EVERYTHING in the process.  Especially the chance to learn to love ourselves, our whole selves.  Body.  Mind.  Emotion.  Soul.

While this pose will not heal every unloving thought you’ve had against your body in one go, it is a start for me.  Sending some restful, loving, breath-filled movement into my beautiful layers of gluteal muscles (aka my hips and butt) reminds me that each part of my body has a purpose.  And I am so grateful to move and explore this adventure of life in my body, the only one I have,  as imperfect as it is.  Because the imperfections in our bodies provide a chance to do the soul work that aligns with love.

Ingredients:

A big pillow (for under your chest/head)

A rolled blanket or smaller pillow (for under your hip)

Start on all fours – hands and knees.  Bring your right knee to your right wrist and lay your shin and foot down at an angle under your belly.  Walk your left leg back straight behind you.  Place your pillows and supports on the floor under your chest and hip.  Slowly walk your chest down towards the pillow and let your head rest to one side.  Place your arms out at a comfortable angle on the ground.  Send long, loving breaths to your hips – or any other part of your body that you have been at war with.  This may dig up some emotions – and that is OKAY!  

Rest in this for at least 5 minutes on BOTH SIDES.  Practice making a new peace in your body – it may open up peace in your heart and mind as well!

Each week we’ll be exploring a restorative yoga pose or breathing technique with images/video and tips.  Check in at Lacuna Loft on Wednesdays to anchor your week with peace, grounding, + community (and don’t forget to join the dialogue all week long).  Excited to journey together!  This week we’ll be exploring an inverted yoga pose.

Restor(y)ing Mind+Body+Soul (pt. 3)

This has been my mental practice over the last few months.  How can I rename an ‘obstacle’ as an ‘opportunity’?  How can I see a challenge as space to learn something new?  What if every moment was an opening to practice joy, gratitude, and love in the world?

I am daily faced with so many of these choices.  At first, they don’t even seem like choices – just instant reactions.  But with some good long breaths and a chance to look at things from another perspective, I realize that I get to choose how I respond and how I add joy or pain to my day.  Some examples include:

I forget to set my alarm – panic mode and aggressive behavior as I rush to my day OR realize I needed the sleep and communicate with people that plans have changed? 

Parking ticket – angry at the city police for fining me, angry at myself for forgetting quarters OR a moment to ‘donate’ to the city and be grateful for the parking spot? 

Big zit on my face – self hatred and anxiety over what people think of me OR reminder that we are all more than our appearances? 

Someone “cuts me off” in traffic – send some angry words their way (and really only back to myself since I’m alone in the car) OR send some love, forgiveness, and stay calm?

I’m doing the dishes for my roommate, again – time to list all of his/her terrible traits and wallow in self aggrandizement OR peaceful time to play in the bubbles and give a little love (no matter why) to another human being?

And the list goes on.

To better remember that every situation has another perspective to it, I practice physically switching my orientation.  Check out this everyone-can-do-it inversion to get the blood flowing around in your body in different ways.  You may just find that it helps change your brain’s patterns of perspective, too!  If so, leave us a comment about it!

Ingredients:

A wall

Scoot your seat up to the base of the wall and swing your legs up towards the ceiling.  Release your arms to your side.  Close your eyes.  Breathe in and out through your nose.  Gradually lengthen and deepen your inhales and exhales until they match (ex: breathe in for 4 counts and out for 4 counts).  See how slow you can let your breath become and then finally let go of controlling your breath and just enjoy!  Some variations:

• Spend time here while considering “problems” and turn them into “possibilities”
• Grab a pillow for under your neck & head
• Put a blanket on top
• Angle some blankets/pillows to lift your hips up off the ground (with head still low) to give your legs more room if they are tight

What do you think of our weekly yoga posts and poses?  Have you ever tried this inverted yoga pose to invert your perspective?  We’d love to hear from you!