How we want to die and what happens after we have, is one of the biggest conversations that we aren’t having.  Deciding end of life is a crucial part of our healthcare survivorship plans as well as our lives as human beings.  Whether you are close to the end of your life or not, leaving end of life decisions up until it is too late costs us control over an important time in our lives.

Where would you like to die?  Who do you want to write your obituary?  How do you want your family and friends to celebrate your life?  What would you like to happen to your body once you’ve died?  How would you like your belongings and wealth to be distributed?

Each of these decisions require love, attention, and care to sift through.  Each is a personal decision, better made by you than by any one else.  Starting these conversations can be difficult though, in a society that shies away from conversations about death and planning end of life.

Death Over Dinner helps to solve this problem.  An informative and interactive website, the interface takes you through the steps of planning a dinner party where you talk about end of life, death and dying.  The site allows you to consider who you invite, how you discuss the weighty topics at hand, and guides you towards resources to do just that.

“We have gathered dozens of medical and wellness leaders to cast an unflinching eye at end of life, and we have created an uplifting interactive adventure that transforms this seemingly difficult conversation into one of deep engagement, insight and empowerment. We invite you to gather friends and family and fill a table. “

Have you spent any time planning end of life?  Would Death Over Dinner help you initiate these crucial conversations?

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There are two days every year when I write about my mother, on her birthday and wedding anniversary, and on the day that she died.  So many things have happened since she left.  I often think that I need to call her only to remember that I cannot do that right now.  Such is life after death.

Before my mother died, my family had very few conversations about her last wishes.  I ended up writing her obituary because I like to write and it felt like the thing to do.  We planned a memorial service instead of a funeral because that also seemed like what she might have wanted.  What about her belongings?  What about the who to invite and what we should say?

I knew that she did not want an open casket and that she wanted her ashes to be sprinkled into a body of water because of a conversation that I had with my mother years prior to her cancer diagnosis.  She once told me that I could speak with her from anywhere I wanted…no need to find a tombstone.  This is often an important piece of info that I hold onto.  Still, with such little conversation accomplished ahead of time, when my mother died, my dad and I were bombarded with a million things to figure out and plan…and often without the informed voice of the person who mattered most, my mom.

Tomorrow we will introduce you to a great organization that is helping to alleviate this lack of end of life planning.  While I am happy with how we said goodbye to my mother, I still think often of the many conversations that I wish we had had together.