Relaxing Through Crisis Archives - Page 3 of 4

More Things To Do With All This Time

If you read my last post, you might think I have an “all work and no play” attitude, even when I’m sick. But that’s not the case – I spend plenty of time on non-intellectual pursuits as well! I especially love movies, TV series, radio series, and podcasts. They keep my mind occupied without overtaxing it, which is perfect for when I’m feeling bad enough to stay in bed, but not quite bad enough to sleep (or try to).

One-off movies and programs are great, and I have enjoyed many, but I especially like series, so I can be engaged in the same story over a long period of time. Here are some of my favorites.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, seasons one and two (radio program). Classic absurdist science fiction comedy. There have been a few film and TV versions of HHGTTG, but I don’t think they compare to the brilliance of the original radio program. I listen to this every few years, and it always cracks me up. Seasons three, four, and five were produced after Douglas Adams’s death; I haven’t heard them yet, but they’re on my list.

Firefly (TV series) and Serenity (movie sequel to the series). This show has a hug cult following, and it’s not hard to see why – the television series is imaginative, strongly character-driven, well-written, and well-acted. It only ran for one season, with a movie following a few years later. I suggest giving this a try even if you don’t like science fiction; it’s made a lot of converts.

Indiana Jones (movies). I love the slightly campy side to these movies, and the subtle nods to adventure films of the 1930s and 1940s. There’s nothing especially deep in any of the films, but there is a great deal of charm, and they stand up well to multiple viewings.

Pride and Prejudice (BBC miniseries). I know it is a bit of a cliche for an American woman to love this series, but I don’t care. It gets everything right – the humor in Jane Austen’s most famous book, the romance, and the social commentary. The casting, acting, and dialogue are all stellar. As an aside, this is an especially wonderful series to watch with friends.

Sherlock (BBC series). Another great BBC production, Sherlock has a marvelous premise: that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s famous detective, Sherlock Holmes, is living and solving extraordinary cases in modern-day London. It’s very clever, and absolutely intriguing – the kind of show you have to talk about after seeing. Each episode is about ninety minutes long, as long as a shorter movie, so there’s enough time with each one to get completely sucked in.

Do you have any favorite series that have helped you through tough times? Share them in the comments!

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Finding Stillness

Each week we are be exploring a restorative yoga pose or breathing technique with images/video and tips. Check in at Lacuna Loft on Wednesdays to anchor your week with peace, grounding + community (and don’t forget to join the dialogue all week long by posting comments). Excited to journey together!

After our holiday shuffle (next year’s #1 line dance?), I find myself worn out. My mind and emotions are still spinning from all the people, conversations, travels, plans, and events. My body is a little battered from the extra sugar and dairy and I have a bit of a cold. I didn’t even really have or make time to think about new year’s resolutions or intentions. Lucky for me, after driving 6 hours in the snow to get home, I’m here alone for almost 48 hours. Just me, two dogs, a houseful of chores, and some quiet space. Time to relearn the balance of work and rest, doing and being.

This morning I had tea and watched the dogs play. I took them out and then did some slow yoga on my mat (head cold + downward dog = won’t do that again). I began unpacking our clothes and repacking our Christmas decorations. I slowly ate breakfast while enjoying a new magazine. I got on my computer to do those e-mail to-dos that pile up and then I got some paper and colored pens out to work on a timeline of 2014 (details below). Then I did some dishes, walked the dogs, came to write this post, and am planning to do some reading with tea before dinner.

I’m noticing a pattern here… Move around, find stillness. Progress, reflection. Left to its own devices, my day has been a resetting of rhythms. How can I learn from this yearning inside me and protect these rhythms as the pace picks back up? What could I add in once a day to remind me that I need daily reflection time, too? Can we be people who remind EACH OTHER to make space for this important soul growth so we don’t just run over our lives? (I’m saying that loudly to myself…)

Here are a few ideas I had for finding the stillness in between the active parts of your day, including one fail-proof yoga pose to help you re-set at ANY time:

get a coloring book and do a page a day – invite a friend!
journal or free write for 20 minutes
drink a cup of tea or water slowly without doing ANYTHING ELSE!
meditate
take deep breaths through your nose with your eyes closed
turn off all your electronics and enjoy reading for 30 minutes
put on your favorite music and just move however your body wants to
play with a child or animal
take a mid-day savasana, “corpse pose” (described next!)

Savasana

wear comfortable and warm clothing
soft mat or rug to lay on
maybe a pillow, eye pillow, or blanket

Lie down on your back and spread your legs long and about 18” apart and rest your feet and ankles. Spread your arms away from your body with your hands relaxed and palms facing up. Close your eyes. Feel your weight sink into the earth. Notice how supported you are, how grounded. Rest here for at least 5 minutes, letting go of all thoughts and control. Mama Earth has got you!

Optional: You can choose to bend your knees slightly and add a pillow underneath to support your lower back (a more restorative version). You can add an eye pillow or favorite stuffed animal over your eyelids for darkness. You can add a blanket for warmth. You can play music… whatever suits.

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New Year Timeline

(Note: my super thoughtful friend Laura does this every year, and I invite you to give it a whirl if you are still looking to make closure with one year and purpose for the next.)

Start with a piece of paper and some colored writing instruments. Split the timeline into 12 months somehow and then add details like where you’ve been, who you saw, what you learned, major milestones, etc. I chose to use different colors to show different themes. Notice what comes to light in the big picture ideas as you step your way into the new year!

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The Fork In The Fight: Breathing Into Self-Awareness And Ease

Andrea and G have a lovely history together. Please enjoy the third post of a three post installment in their new series, The Fork in the Fight. Check out Part 1: Our Story and Part 2: Butternut Squash Curry Bisque recipe!

The Fork in the Fight: recipes for restoring our souls and thriving in the face of cancer

Part 3: Breathing Into Self-Awareness And Ease

In G’s story, she mentioned how her experience taught her to be her own friend and to be self-examining. In Yoga, the practice of swadhyaya, or self-study, is a Nyama, or daily observance recommended for practitioners. This looking inward can be beneficial to all humans, regardless of present tragedy or bliss. A safe way to practice is to find a comfortable seated position with the spine tall. You can use blankets or pillows to prop yourself up if needed. Make sure you are warm (or at your preferred body temperature) and in a quiet space where you can be uninterrupted for 5-25 minutes. Close your eyes. Start to notice your breathing. “Awareness is central to contemplation because it reduces the distance between us and that of which we are aware.” (Thomas Ryan, Prayer of Heart and Body) So often we are caught up in our surroundings that we are not aware of the feeling in body. As you notice your breath, be aware if it feels shallow or deep, easy or constricted. Also notice where you might be clenching — like the jaw, fist, buttox, pelvic floor, or shoulders. Do your best to release and let go without judgement.

Continue for as long as you have time — scanning the breath and the body, releasing, relaxing and letting go. You may find a few sighing exhales to be especially healing. You can carry this practice with you. In a challenging moment, even if you can’t close your eyes, notice your breath, your body. What can release and let go? Can you slow and deepen your breath, softening your physical presence to invite ease into your present situation? As you prepare to come back to the present moment, be mindful of the serenity you have cultivated, and take time to transition slowly and quietly to your next activity.

We are excited to explore our shared experiences of recovery, relationship building, and self-love with you. Stay well and take time for yourselves during this busy holiday season.

With love and gratitude,

Andrea and G

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Mindful Mouth-fulls

I often find myself focused on only what is physically visible to others… As if they are unable to see the hurt, frustration, anger, or sadness that is going on within me. As if I’m not making myself visible in the way I stand and cross my arms or the way I respond to a comment in an extra-emotional way. What is inside has a way of coming to the outside, and yet I can go through my day without noticing what kind of things are “inputting” into my system. From the news or music I ingest or the people I spend time with or what I put into my body as I eat and drink… all of these affect my wellbeing and my joy each day. So what could it look like to notice these pieces of my life and take an inventory? What could I maybe bring awareness to and re-order to ‘input’ more freedom, joy, and love?

Consider…

Who are the people around me and what influence do they have? Do they bring me up and remind me of who I truly am? Do they speak critically or hurtfully? Do they love and care for me?

What are the voices I’m listening to saying – both external and internal? What kind of language do I use to talk about myself? Am I critical about how I look? How I spoke? What I do or don’t know? What kind of self-talk am I creating inside?

How am I treating my body? Am I fighting against it? Am I able to listen to my body? Do I give myself time to breathe fully? What am I putting into my body?

While you ponder these questions, take a swing at this mindfulness exercise below. Slowing down while I eat is just one way to remind myself that what I put in my body and my life matters – and I want to receive it fully! Going into the holidays, it is easy to be mindless about what I am eating. Besides the fact that I’m definitely eating MORE, I don’t even notice what I’m eating to really enjoy it. Amidst the hustle and bustle of events and people and to-dos, I barely notice what I eat – I just do it more, and faster! What if we could take one meal a day, or even a few bites each day, with purpose and presence? What about breakfast – or the first bite of each meal? To savor food, and life.

As I practice eating slowly, chewing eat bite enough to help my belly digest, and feeling gratitude for all the hands that brought my food to my plate, I feel life slow down and a great love well up inside of me. A great love that brings lots of healing into reach. Maybe you will feel something like that, too.

Ingredients

one raisin

Pick up the raisin (or other dried fruit) and bring it to your nose. Smell the fruit’s sweetness. Feel its texture in your hands. Notice the different colors present on one little piece. Place the raisin on your tongue. Notice how it feels, tastes, and smells now. Move it slowly all over your mouth, feeling the changes as it rehydrates. Keep the raisin in your mouth for at least a minute, detecting all the subtle variations in the experience of eating just one little raisin. When you are ready, begin to slowly chew the raisin, sensing new changes. After you swallow, what taste and feel are left in your mouth?

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Coming Back to Center

Each week we are exploring a restorative yoga pose or breathing technique with images/video and tips. Check in at Lacuna Loft on Wednesdays to anchor your week with peace, grounding + community (and don’t forget to join the dialogue all week long by posting comments). Excited to journey together! Namaste!

Restor(y)ing Mind+Body+Soul

It only takes an instant, and I’m in that downward spiral of defensive, protective, complaining, blaming, you name it. One ‘wrong’ word, one funny look, one disappointment in my day and whoops!, I’m a totally different person. The cheerful me that got plenty of sleep, a nourishing breakfast, a morning walk, and some doggie lovin’ is now feeling a little more like an angry blowfish with spikes ready to poke whoever is nearby, including my most beloved ones!

With practice though, I’ve learned that this blowfish doesn’t have to have the last word. In fact, she sometimes doesn’t even need to have a single word. I can see the spiral beginning and come back to center and find whatever the situation needs – compassion, patience, or clear communication. First, I learn to notice the feelings that are present and acknowledge them. The anger, frustration, disappointment, whatever – is there. No matter the reasons, it’s just okay. I’m a human. I have emotional triggers. I just see it for what it is – an emotion, a reaction, a choice. What DOES matter is how I’m going to choose to respond to these feelings. Will this angry she-blowfish get to send pokes out to the people around me? Or, will I acknowledge my feelings and then choose to come back to who I want to be, who I really am, the joy-peace-compassion-love in all of us?

Creating the space to CHOOSE how to react (instead of letting my instincts just run the show) takes practice. It takes a lot of apologizing sometimes, too. But the space, when created, is magical. It means I have the power to decide who I want to be and how my life goes – no matter what happens!

Coming back to center requires knowing I have a center and then practicing finding it – first in calm and then in times of storms. May this yoga pose, a restorative version of baddha konasana, help you feel your center physically and then find it spiritually and emotionally. May the time you practice being in your own center give you power to come back to center when the challenges come. Because they will… and we want to be unshakable.

Ingredients:

one couch seat cushion angled up against the wall (use anything stable behind it to prop it up)
two smaller pillows or blankets rolled up for each leg

Find yourself a peaceful space with a soft floor – a blanket or carpeting will do. Prop the couch cushion against the wall using a block or pillow to secure it from falling down to the floor. Cozy up to the base of the cushion with your seat right at the floor in front of it. Lean back and allow the cushion to support your back at a comfortable angle for you.

Bend your knees and allow them to fall outward from your body. Bring the soles of your feet together at your midline. Place your hands, palms face up, on your legs or knees. Bring your first finger and thumb together to touch. Close your eyes and breath deeply through your nose. With each inhale, feel your breath moving from the soles of your feet up the midline of your body, along your spine, between your eyes, above the crown of your head. On the exhale, feel your breath move in the same line in reverse. Set a timer for 5-10 minutes and enjoy feeling your midline, your center. Trust that this peaceful self is available whenever you need it. And with the holidays coming and busy end-of-year calendars, you may need it soon!

Bonus: this pose is also a great position in which to practice meditation or breathing techniques!

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Gratitude, From My Breath To My Feet

I find that coming into winter and coming into the holidays is loaded with meaning, emotions, relationships, gifts to buy, food to make, travel plans… all these things that my “type A” brain wants to run with. So much activity, so much excitement in the body – whether the season is joyful or challenging. Sometimes my brain has been in the future so much (planning, anticipating…), I realize I’ve missed part of the present. It has just slipped by as I played a movie in my brain about what is next. There is so much noise that I lose track of the here and now.

And then there is part of me, in the midst of the doing, that is tuning into winter and wants to hibernate. Eat dinner at 5 pm and be in bed by 8 pm. Read more. Snuggle more. Take baths. Come inward.

So what can I do to reconcile these pieces of November and December in American culture? I need to get present and get grounded… so let us give some love to our grounding feet and be guided by the season of “thanks-giving” and use gratitude to center in to the right now.

Ingredients:

– your feet (or hands, or any body part!)

– optional: some nourishing oil like sesame (good for warming) or coconut (good for cooling/calming)

Cozy up with your feet and begin rubbing warm oil into the muscles and bones that knit together to form these beautiful and essential parts of our body (this practice in yoga is called Abhyanga, and it has a ton of benefits). Imagine all the little bones and muscles needed for our ankles, feet, and toes to move in so many ways (or look here for an image). Massage along the pressure points and chakra points of your arch as illustrated in the drawing (the colors are the chakras). You can find these points by applying pressure with your thumb along the edge of the foot and walking up 1/2 inch at a time. When it feels good, you know you’ve hit the spot. Then, as you massage oil into each toe, think of something you are grateful for about your feet. Find the deep, deep gratitude in your heart for these feet that carry us around to see the world and our loved ones, that give us balance as we climb rocks, and that give us movement to dance and play! Enjoy your feet this week as they carry you.

Feel free to give yourself a little love anywhere that suits you this week – and give thanks! Our bodies, however they are today, are a gift!

caregiver patient survivor yoga

Take Time To Slow Down

The start of the holiday season is just a few days away. Thanksgiving seems to release a wave of Holiday shopping and madness that extends all the way until Christmas day here in the US.

As a young adult cancer survivor, patient, or caregiver, taking time to check in and slow down is essential during the busy holiday season. How can you help create a season of cheer for those around you if you don’t take care of your own cheer first? Here is a lovely reminder to stop. Slow down. Savor time spent by yourself, with friends, or with family. Create space for breath and calm.

The holidays can seem overwhelming to a young adult cancer survivor. Often your family treats your illness (or lack of illness) in a different way than might be helpful. Maybe they question every cough that you have. Maybe they act as if everything is (or should be) back to the way things were before. Regardless, spending so much time with family or groups of family and friends, may be a slightly stressful way to spend your time. Arming yourself with a strategy to comfort and calm your body can go a long way to shaping the holiday that you want to experience!

When I need to take some time for myself, or time with fewer people at least (in a season of holiday gatherings), I schedule a coffee date, arrange for a walk in the woods, go for a jog around the neighborhood, or hide myself away for a little while to read a book.

Are you a young adult cancer survivor with some tips on how to slow down during the busy times of the year? Tell us how!

In fact…can you do nothing for 2 minutes?

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Balancing Breath

Check out this video for instructions in Nadi Shodhana, a yoga breath exercise (pranayama). Alternating nostrils while breathing in and out through the nose brings a sense of balance and calm in the body, mind, and emotions. And, I just read (in Balance Your Hormones, Balance Your Life by Claudia Welch) that this technique can bring balance to our hormones as well! Just another reason to take 5 minutes a day to give the gift of healing to your body. Give it a try and let us know what you experience.

See you next week!

(Quick explanation if you can’t watch a video right now: Breathe in and out through your nose. Center yourself and breath deeply and evenly. Bring your right hand up and spread your fingers out. Bring the pointer and middle fingers together and bend them to your palm. Bring the pinky finger alongside the ring finger. Bring your hand up, palm facing the nose. Press your thumb to block your right nostril and then switch and bring your ring finger to block your left nostril. Play with that coordination.

Then, inhale fully and put the thumb to the right nostril, exhale out the left. Inhale through the left nostril and switch fingers to exhale on the right. Continue like this (inhale, switch, exhale… inhale, switch, exhale) for 5 minutes. Notice how your body feels after directing it towards balance.)

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When Your Mind Says Yes And Your Body Says No

Last week I was sick, not cancer-sick, just regular-sick. My symptoms were extreme fatigue and a mildly congested nose and throat. I took the day off from work and lay down in bed after breakfast. I thought, “I’ll just try to sleep for a short while.” I’m a notorious morning person, and though I’m a good napper, I can never sleep more than a half hour or so during the day. I figured I’d lie down for a bit, then get up and do some writing.

I woke up about an hour later, looked at the clock, and thought, “Okay, that was good, maybe I’ll get up now.”

And my body said, “NO!”

So I let myself get pulled back into sleep. I woke up again about an hour later and thought, “Okay, that was great, but I should really get up now.”

And my body said, “NO!”

This kept happening until I’d slept until almost noon, something I hadn’t done even when I was in college. But my body kept demanding it. It was almost audible, the force with which my body objected to my mind. I wanted to get up. I intended to get up. But my body knew that I needed to sleep, and so it insisted.

I don’t usually let my body speak to me like that. I ignore it, telling myself that I need to work more than I need to sleep, that I need to play with my son more than I need to do yoga. But when I was vulnerable, I had to let my body tell me what to do, and it reminded me that I need to listen to what my body wants. I have to check in often and try to give it what it needs: better food, sleep, a walk outside. I like to think that my mind is “me,” but my body is also “me,” and I can’t just override that whenever I want to. Sometimes you just need to trust your body.

I’m not someone who believes that diet, exercise and sleep can prevent or cure illness entirely. I was only thirteen when I got cancer, and I was a very healthy, growing girl at that point. But for those of us who are ill, and for those of us who have been so, our biggest concern is prevention: preventing it from getting worse, preventing it from happening again. Our body knows more about that than our minds do. Our bodies know how to heal themselves, how to crave the things we need, and how to signal to us that we need to sleep. We need to listen to them, even when other voices- those of our bosses, family members, society- seem louder.

Trust your body to say “no,” even when you want to say “yes.”

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Take A Vacation From Cancer: Backyard Camping

While going through treatments, various people suggested that my husband (fiance at the time) and I take a vacation from cancer. Easier said than done!!! I continually thought to myself while smiling at their well-intentioned words. Even now, 3 years into my survivorship, I still often feel like I need a vacation from cancer…my worries about having a baby because of cancer, my drive to tell the world why Young Adult cancer needs more resources, my issues with finding new health insurance this year that will cover cancer…cancer does seem to be a recurring theme.

Well! I think my little family of 4 (2 people and 2 furry daughter dogs) have finally started figuring out how to take little vacations from cancer (and life in general). My husband and I have started taking days off from our cell phones while staying totally engaged with one another, taking little excursions that feel like mini adventures. This past week, while the weather was still on the warm-ish side of fall, and before our first freeze, I announced to my husband that we would be spending a night camping in our backyard! Another little adventure to take a vacation from our day to day grind.

A few years ago I purchased a tent, with the idea of backpacking in mind. It is a small, 2 person tent weighing only 4 pounds. Probably not the most suitable tent for backyard camping with my little family of 4…but we made it work 🙂 The pups weren’t entirely sure what to do but they quickly nestled into the blankets and the sleeping bags along with myself and my husband. We used headlamps to light the interior and spent the evening chatting and snuggling. Listening to the noises outside, even in our own backyard, was a wonderfully soothing way to fall asleep.

Have you tried to take a vacation from cancer? Now that I’m getting the hang of it, I would highly recommend making it a weekly routine. What ways do you use to take a vacation from cancer or illness?

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