Write Now with Jean Rowe: Matters of the Heart

snow heart held by red gloved hands

Lacuna Loft is proud to present Write Now with Jean Rowe! Each month, come on over to Young Adult Voices and read everything Jean Rowe, Certified Journal Therapist, has to say! Love what you’re reading? Check out the many programs Jean is facilitating (including 30 Minute Tune-Up, Lost and Found, Lacuna Loft’s Weekly Journal Prompt, and It’s a Wonderful Life) and sign up to join one today!

February brings valentines, and this month, I encourage us to think of ways we can and do love ourselves. Love is action. Love is a verb. Love is a choice. Maybe this feels awkward. Try anyway. You’re worth it.

Here is some wisdom of those who love/loved themselves:

James Brown – Super Bad
I jump back. I wanna kiss myself.

Lady Gaga – Born This Way
I’m right on the track, baby.

Tom Petty – Won’t Back Down
And I’ll keep this world from draggin’ me down.

Whitney Houston – Greatest Love of All
Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.

Lou Rawls – One Life to Live
Why don’t you give it your best shot.

Madonna – Vogue
All you need is your own imagination.

What would happen if you use your own imagination, gave it your best shot, loved yourself, kept the world from draggin’ you down, got right on the track, and, yes, jumped back and kissed yourself?

Try this: pick one of those ideas or several. Act as if they are already in place. Write a day in your life with them already in place. Write for five minutes. Have a sense of wonder and open-heartedness at what is revealed.

Let me know how it goes. I’d love to hear from you!

We set the bar for how we want others to treat us.
-Lisa Marie

Your Definition of Love Determines How You Experience It

Join A 3-Part Holiday Journaling Workshop

holiday banner

Lacuna Loft is excited to bring back this special holiday program!

It’s a Wonderful Life: Taking Care during the Holidays.  A 3-part online journaling workshop for young adult cancer patients and survivors.

“It’s beginning to look a lot like” an even busier time of year! The holiday season brings nostalgia (like a favorite song), connection to family and friends and an undercurrent of expectation. There can be an added layer of managing expectations to be positive and happy – even in the middle of treatment or when everyone appears to look “fine” when, inside, they are not.

Finding peace between the wrapping paper and the stuffing is within reach! Join us for a 3 part holiday journal writing workshop to design a plan for low stress, create or reconnect with meaningful traditions, and decorate your soul with a little TLC.

Where: Online video chat. We’ll send you more information about joining after you register. Please have a microphone headset and a webcam.

Who: Young adult cancer patients and survivors.

When: The writing group meets on Sundays at 2 pm PT / 4 pm CT / 5 pm ET for 2 hours each week, for 3 parts, meeting on December 1st, 8th, and 15th.  A commitment to attend every date is important to group continuity and in creating a safe space. Please be on time

The workshop is led by Jean Rowe LCSW, OSW-C.  She is a Certified Journal Therapist who has been in the field of oncology for 15 years and has crafted many journal writing programs for cancer survivors.

Join A Holiday Self Care Writing Program! It’s A Wonderful Life!

holiday banner

Young Survival Coalition and Lacuna Loft are excited to present a brand new program:

It’s a Wonderful Life: Taking Care during the Holidays

A 3-part journaling workshop for young adult cancer survivors

“It’s beginning to look a lot like” an even busier time of year! The holiday season brings nostalgia (like a favorite song), connection to family and friends and an undercurrent of expectation. There can be an added layer of managing expectations to be positive and happy – even in the middle of treatment or when everyone appears to look “fine” when, inside, they are not.

Finding peace between the wrapping paper and the stuffing is within reach! Join us for a 3 part holiday journal writing workshop to design a plan for low stress, create or reconnect with meaningful traditions, and decorate your soul with a little TLC.

Jean Rowe, LCSW, OSW-C, Certified Journal Therapist, is the Associate Director of Support Services at the Young Survival Coalition. Lacuna Loft and YSC are excited to offer this journal workshop online to young adult cancer survivors of any diagnosis.

Sundays, 4-6 pm PT / 7-9 pm ET: December 2nd, December 9th, December 16th.  Sign up below!

Where: Online video chat. We’ll send you more information about joining after you register. Please have a microphone headset and a webcam.

Who: Young adult cancer survivors.

When: The writing group meets on Sundays at 4 pm PT / 6 pm CT / 7 pm ET for 2 hours each week, for 3 parts, meeting on December 2nd, December 9th, and December 16th.  A commitment to attend each part is important to group continuity and in creating a safe space. Please be on time 🙂

Join A Brand New Writing Program! Lost and Found!

woman on bed

Update:  The initial session is now full.  Please fill out the interest form below to be notified when the next session is forming!

Sex, intimacy, and relationships after cancer can be scary, unchartered territory. It is normal (yes! normal) for young adult cancer survivors to not feel particularly sexual or physically attractive after treatment. It’s a real thing that’s been studied! Check that out here. Think about it. Your body’s changed. Your life has changed. Your feelings about your body and life have likely changed. That reduced or complete lack of interest in sex could be physiological* or it could be psychological. Or both.

Some young adult cancer survivors have expressed feeling like their bodies have betrayed them. Young adults ages 18 to 39 may still be coming into their own about sexuality when a cancer diagnosis shows up like a party crasher. Oncologists are not equipped to have conversations about how to sustain intimacy during or after cancer when a patient has an existing partner much less addressing this subject with single young adults. The realization that intimacy has skipped town may not show up until after treatment has finished. This can feel out of place and confusing and cause further isolation and fear.

Changes to body image can greatly impact sex and intimacy, particularly if there were pre-existing struggles with it. Bodily changes during cancer can deepen these struggles or new ones can surface for the first time. Young adults are fighting life-threatening illnesses, and, on top that, their self-esteem is impacted by changes, sometimes dramatic ones, which are outside of their control.

Questions like, “When do I tell someone about cancer?” often arise. The answer is simple: when you’re ready. I am not suggesting this is a simple conversation, and you have no obligation to tell potential partners about your cancer journey until and unless you’re ready. Hear me add this gentle caveat: If your clothes are coming off, you might want to stop and have a conversation.

Now what? Well, what if you decided to try something different? What if, with a generous helping of compassion, you decided to be a pioneer for what might be possible with your body and life as it is now, today? Knowing that the frontier will include some moments of feeling awkward and weirdness? Also opportunity and creativity?

Lacuna Loft and YSC invite you to explore that frontier by participating in Lost and Found: Re-Establishing Intimacy after Cancer, a six week online video journal workshop for young adult cancer survivors (women only). We hope to “see” you there!  Join other young cancer survivors (women only) who understand what you’ve gone through while learning how to reconnect, welcoming a compassionate understanding of your body now, and creating ways to open your heart to intimate opportunities after cancer.  Sign up below!  (P.S.  Check out our Awkward Auntie program to get all of your questions answered anonymously about sex and relationships after young adult cancer!)

Where: Online video chat. We’ll send you more information about joining after you register. Please have a microphone headset and a webcam.

Who: 15 young adult cancer survivors (women only).

When: The writing group meets on Sundays at 4 pm PT / 6 pm CT / 7 pm ET for 2 hours each week, for 6 weeks starting on Sunday, August 12th and going until September 23rd (we will skip Labor Day weekend).  A commitment to attend each week is important to group continuity and in creating a safe space.

*(ask your healthcare team if medicine you’re taking impacts libido and/or if there’s a tweak or addition in medication that might help)

What To Say When You Don’t Know What To Say

when you dont know what to say

I have short hair and because of the weather where I live, often wear a small beanie.  When your neck and your ears are naked, your head gets cold!  Well, I was at REI the other day, wearing my beanie and a Lacuna Loft hoodie.  A guy walked by with his small child in tow.  He looked at me and very kindly said, “that’s a really cool hat.”  I thanked him, feeling slightly confused but flattered, and he walked away.

As I thought about our interaction, it suddenly hit me.  This guy thought I was a cancer patient.  I had a hoodie that literally says, “young adult cancer resources.”  I was wearing a beanie with almost no hair poking out from under it.  I have circles under my eyes and often look tired without any makeup (thanks, chemo!).

And the more I thought about it, the sweeter the interaction felt in my heart.  This man had no idea who I was but saw an opportunity to say something nice, and did so.  When he might have otherwise not known what to say and ignored the signs that I might be going through a crisis, he said something.

The moral is this: when you don’t know what to say, say something anyway.  Say you like their hat.  Say the weather is great (or not great) today.  You don’t need to ask a personal question or even try and connect with what you’re assuming they are going through.

Nice hat.  Great t-shirt.  Awesome menu choice.

Engage over the smallest thing.  It’s easy and it will make all the difference.

Where You Can Find Lacuna Loft In 2018

lacuna loft in person

This weekend I’m in Orlando (again, ha!) for the Young Survival Coalition Summit!  If you’re at the event, stop by our table in the exhibit hall to say hello!

I’ll be instagramming my way around town so keep in touch!  Lacuna Loft is all about bringing the young adult cancer community of patients, survivors, and caregivers together.  Sometimes we do that digitally and every once in a while, we get to do it in person too!  We’ll have some great info at our booth and a giveaway!  And we’ll be other places this year too!  If you’re at CancerCon in Denver, the ONS Congress in Washington DC, or ASCO  in Chicago, come and find Lacuna Loft!  We would absolutely love to meet you in person!!!

Petition To Preserve Adolescent And Young Adult Fertility

preserve adolescent and young adult cancer fertility

The National Cancer Institute estimates that each year nearly one-quarter of all new cancer diagnosis will impact men and women of reproductive age. Cancer patients have a very short window to decide to preserve fertility whether prior to treatment or in between surgery and chemotherapy. However, half of adolescents and young adults aren’t told treatment will impact their fertility.

For those who do know, cost stops them. Fertility preservation is not covered by the majority of insurance companies and protecting parenthood is not a standard part of cancer care like reconstruction after a mastectomy. For a young woman this means spending $15,000 out-of-pocket even before cancer treatment begins.

Nine states – Arizona, Delaware, Hawaii, Missouri, New York, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Vermont, and Maryland – have active legislation pending to require insurance companies to cover fertility preservation or expand access to infertility benefits.

Sign Critical Mass’s petition to let policymakers across the country know that you support protecting parenthood after a cancer diagnosis.

Flashback #4: After A Mastectomy You Get New Boobs! Yay! Wait, Not Really

breast reconstruction

To celebrate our 2-year anniversary of being a nonprofit, Lacuna Loft is bringing back our top 31 articles from our archives!  The countdown to our top post is continuing today with Flashback #4: After A Mastectomy You Get New Boobs! Yay! Wait, Not Really, written by Karen. These 31 articles are the best of the best and we’re very happy to share them with you again!  The countdown continues next week!

….When I tell people about my mastectomy and breast reconstruction, I receive lots of support, many questions, and even some rude comments. The most frequent thing I hear from both women and men is “at least you will get perky boobs” (insert awkward laugh here)

For those of you who, thankfully, have not had a mastectomy or been close to someone who is going through one, you might think that this is going to make us feel better. It doesn’t! I understand that it is meant to be a supportive comment, but, I promise you, this is not a normal boob job. Yes, I did get implants to replace my real breasts, but that is where the similarities end………

……

Read the rest of the article here!

Lacuna Loft Celebrates 2 Years As A Nonprofit!

lacuna loft

Today, April 7, 2017, Lacuna Loft celebrates our 2-year anniversary of being a nonprofit organization!!!

In honor of our two years, we’re going to spend the next month and a half sharing our top 30 posts.  Get ready to read (or re-read) some wonderful pieces of wisdom from so many of our contributors.  Our book club’s posts will continue on as normal on Mondays but we’ll be disrupting our friday, link round up posts.

How do we choose the top 30, you ask?  Directly from you!  We’ve dug into our analytics and have identified the 30 most popular posts (out of all 763 articles that have been published before today).  I’m really looking forward to walking down memory lane and picking out some of the gems hidden in our archives.  These articles feature the voices of many, many courageous young adult cancer survivors and caregivers who stepped forward, showed up, and helped someone know that they weren’t alone.  These 30 are the best of the best and I’m very happy to share them with you again!

Like what you see and want to add your voice?  Email info@lacunaloft.org and we’d love to chat with you!

P.S. Lacuna Loft’s other programs are still going strong during this next month of flashbacks!  Keep up to date on our social channels!  Instagram, facebook, and twitter!

3 Important Questions To Ask At Your Mammogram Appointment

questions to ask at your mammogram appointment

“Breast density is recognized as one of, and possibly the strongest risk factor associated with development of breast cancer, according to the National Institute of Health.”

Getting cancer is complicated, especially as a young adult.  Your peer group won’t be well armed to advise you on all of the ‘shoulds’ and ‘coulds’ of the situation so you’ll likely be figuring a lot out on your own.  If you’re going in for a mammogram though, now you have someone in your court!  For the Love of Cups has put together 3 important questions to ask at your next mammogram appointment.  Arming yourself with as much power behind your self-advocacy as possible is crucial to taking charge of your own care.  You know your body better than anyone else!

Read the entire article here.