The Rising Strong round of the young adult cancer book club is almost done!  It has been such a wonderful time over the last several months reading this book all together.  The last event up our sleeves for this round is an online book club discussion!  We’ll spend some time talking about the book and probably move on to anything else people want to talk about.  Whether you are completely finished with the book or just kept up with our weekly chapter discussions, RSVP for the online book club discussion below!  We’ll be meeting via video chat on Saturday, February 11th @ noon PST / 2 pm CST / 3 pm EST and will meet for about an hour.  You’ll be done before any Valentine’s Day festivities!

You asked and we listened!  Lacuna Loft’s Young Adult Cancer Book Club’s first online, video chat book club discussion has been scheduled!  This book club discussion will be focused on our Round 3 book club read, Rising Strong.  It will happen on Saturday, February 11 @ noon PST / 2 pm CST / 3 pm EST and will last approximately 1 hour.

You can RSVP below! Once you RSVP, more details will be provided on how to attend the online, book club discussion.  You can expect this info to be emailed to you about a week prior to the video chat.

We are really excited to go with the feedback that you all suggested and add this additional discussion to the young adult cancer book club!  Please let us know if you have any questions or concerns. (And you don’t have to have read the book all the way through to attend!)

P.S.  The next book club read will be announced next week!!!

Welcome to the comments and discussion of Chapter 11: The Revolution of the book, Rising Strong by Brené Brown!  Catch up on Chapter 1: The Physics of Vulnerability,  Chapter 2: Civilization Stops at the Waterline, Chapter 3: Owning Our Stories, Chapter 4: The Reckoning, Chapter 5: The Rumble, Chapter 6: Sewer Rats And Scofflaws, Chapter 7: The Brave And Brokenhearted, Chapter 8: Easy Mark, Chapter 9: Composting Failure, and Chapter 10: You Got To Dance With Them That Brung You.

Let’s get started!  Chapter 11!

Mallory:

I can’t believe we’re done with this book!  I loved this chapter.  It included so many concrete takeaways and examples.  I now want to recommend this book to every parent, soon-to-be-parent, entrepreneur, activist, team-player, employee, business owner, group leader, program manager, etc. etc. etc. etc.  Whether you’re an individual or part of an organization, this book is absolutely fabulous.

One of my favorite quotes was, “Revolution might sound a little dramatic, but in this world, choosing authenticity and worthiness is an absolute act of resistance.”  Yesss!  Such a good thing to keep in mind when the going gets tough and the tough get going.

“Imagine if people gathered to talk about real issues that fuel disconnection and asked the eleven rising strong questions.  What if we were willing to acknowledge our own hurt and pain, and in doing so made sure not to diminish the hurt and pain of others?  We could rise strong together.”

I’ve received a lot of great feedback regarding this book club pick and I could not agree more.  While more time consuming than some of our previous young adult cancer book club picks, this book kept me grounded over the last few months and reemphasized, again and again, the power of self-love, self-care, and asking those tough questions of ourselves and of those around us.

Tomorrow we will announce how you can join in the online, video chat book club discussion of Rising Strong!

How did you like this book?  I’d love to hear your impressions!

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Thanks for joining us for our Chapter 11: The Revolution of Rising Strong!  Tomorrow we’ll announce the book club video chat discussion! and in the meantime, learn more about the book club commentators!

If you’re just joining us, here are some logistics:

We will talk about a chapter each Monday until the book is done.  Then, we’ll use one more Monday to talk about general feelings from the book and anything else you’d like to discuss.  Join in, in the comments every week!  At the end, we’ll have a book club discussion via video chat!  Also, there will probably be spoilers.  Read along with us!

How are you enjoying our young adult cancer book club?

Welcome to the comments and discussion of Chapter 10: You Got To Dance With Them That Brung You of the book, Rising Strong by Brené Brown!  Catch up on Chapter 1: The Physics of Vulnerability,  Chapter 2: Civilization Stops at the Waterline, Chapter 3: Owning Our Stories, Chapter 4: The Reckoning, Chapter 5: The Rumble, Chapter 6: Sewer Rats And Scofflaws, Chapter 7: The Brave And Brokenhearted, Chapter 8: Easy Mark, and Chapter 9: Composting Failure.

Let’s get started!  Chapter 10!

Mallory:

Every chapter of this book is filled with oodles (yes, that is a technical word) of insight.  Sometimes I come to these chapters, already feeling slightly broken in my day to day of being a cancer survivor and sometimes I come to them rushed and stressed at everything on my to-do list.  Every time, I leave each chapter feeling more sorted, more settled.  Each chapter is like a little therapy session…leaving me to wonder whether it is time that I get back to having a regular therapy session as I have in the past.  Anyway…  🙂

Since so many quotations and thoughts came to my mind as really important during this chapter, I decided to focus on one:

“From Long Island to Silicon Valley, a fear of being perceived as weak forces men into pretending they are never afraid, lonely, confused, vulnerable, or wrong; and an extreme fear of being perceived as cold-hearted, imperfect, high maintenance, or hostile forces women to pretend they’re never exhausted, ambitious, pissed off, or even hungry.”

While I don’t always face the same gender ‘shoulds’ as I see others dealing with, this idea of trying to be someone or act a certain way because of how we believe we are perceived is powerful.  In my career shift from engineering to nonprofit, from flashy to grounded, from high-pay to no-pay, I have faced over and over again this idea of what my life *should* look like right now.  Where I *should* be in my career or whether where I am is *adult enough.*  These thoughts keep me up at night.  They make me swing from feelings of pride at what I’ve made of my own two hands and feelings of desperation at providing financially for my family.  They unground me and unsettle my core stability.

Should Should Should.  Enough Enough Enough.  It’s fatiguing, to say the least.  Some days I am fortunate enough to peak my head above the doubt and know that I am on a path that I have, at least somewhat, chosen.

Where do you find shame in your own life?  Where have you found nostalgia playing a role in prescribing *shoulds?*

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Thanks for joining us for our Chapter 10: You Got To Dance With Them That Brung You of Rising Strong!  Join in next Monday for Chapter 10: You Got To Dance With Them That Brung You and in the meantime, learn more about the book club commentators!

If you’re just joining us, here are some logistics:

We will talk about a chapter each Monday until the book is done.  Then, we’ll use one more Monday to talk about general feelings from the book and anything else you’d like to discuss.  Join in, in the comments every week!  At the end, we’ll have a book club discussion via video chat!  Also, there will probably be spoilers.  Read along with us!

How are you enjoying our young adult cancer book club?

With a few chapters left of Rising Strong by Brené Brown, I figured I’d check in and see how everything was going!

In the life of our young adult cancer book club, posts have gone live each week, moving forward into the book a chapter at a time. Our book club is growing, though. In the 1st round, Lacuna Loft gave away 3 books. In the 2nd round, we gave away 12 books. Now, in the 3rd round, Lacuna Loft was able to (very quickly) give away 24 books with more and more requests made each day once the book was announced. Given the enthusiasm behind this program, Lacuna Loft is wondering if a change of scenery is needed?

Would you be interested in having a young adult cancer book club via video chat at the end of the book, either in addition to the weekly blog posts or instead of them?

Do you like focusing on cancer-related books or did you like the switch to a non-cancer-related book?

Would you like a chance to connect with others reading the book in a different way?  Have any ideas?

Any and all feedback that you could provide regarding what you’d like this program to look and feel like is greatly appreciated.  We want to make sure that the programs at Lacuna Loft are exactly what you need them to be.  🙂  Thank you!

Email info@lacunaloft.org!

 

 

In case you’d like to catch up on Rising Strong by Brené Brown, young adult cancer book club!  Catch up on Chapter 1: The Physics of Vulnerability,  Chapter 2: Civilization Stops at the Waterline, Chapter 3: Owning Our Stories, Chapter 4: The Reckoning, Chapter 5: The Rumble, Chapter 6: Sewer Rats And Scofflaws, Chapter 7: The Brave And Brokenhearted, Chapter 8: Easy Mark, and Chapter 9: Composting Failure.  We’ll finish the book after the New Year!

Welcome to the comments and discussion of Chapter 9: Composting Failure of the book, Rising Strong by Brené Brown!  Catch up on Chapter 1: The Physics of Vulnerability,  Chapter 2: Civilization Stops at the Waterline, Chapter 3: Owning Our Stories, Chapter 4: The Reckoning, Chapter 5: The Rumble, Chapter 6: Sewer Rats And Scofflaws, Chapter 7: The Brave And Brokenhearted, and Chapter 8: Easy Mark.

Let’s get started!  Chapter 9!

Mallory:

This chapter talks heavily with how to deal with failure.  Brené Brown lays out the trip falls of shame, guilt, perfectionism, and so much more.

“Perfectionism is not healthy striving.  It is not asking, How can I be my best self?  Instead, it’s asking, What will people think?”

She talks about how we feel when we think that “our cover has been blown” and how to move from shame to vulnerability, accountability, and trust.  Going through young adult cancer is a vulnerable-making event.  If we sit in shame wondering about what people will think, healing and growing become more difficult.  With young adult cancer on the scene, you may not act your best some days.  You may not look your best some days.  Remember to try your best, create an atmosphere of boundaries and safety, and apologize when apologies are due.  Expect your friends and support system to do the same.  With mutual trust and accountability, so many road blocks can be overcome.

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Thanks for joining us for our Chapter 9: Composting Failure of Rising Strong!  Join in next Monday for Chapter 10: You Got To Dance With Them That Brung You and in the meantime, learn more about the book club commentators!

If you’re just joining us, here are some logistics:

We will talk about a chapter each Monday until the book is done.  Then, we’ll use one more Monday to talk about general feelings from the book and anything else you’d like to discuss.  Join in, in the comments every week!  At the end, we’ll have a book club discussion via video chat!  Also, there will probably be spoilers.  Read along with us!

How are you enjoying our young adult cancer book club?

Welcome to the comments and discussion of Chapter 8: Easy Mark of the book, Rising Strong by Brené Brown!  Catch up on Chapter 1: The Physics of Vulnerability,  Chapter 2: Civilization Stops at the Waterline, Chapter 3: Owning Our Stories, Chapter 4: The Reckoning, Chapter 5: The Rumble, Chapter 6: Sewer Rats And Scofflaws, and Chapter 7: The Brave And Brokenhearted.

Let’s get started!  Chapter 8!

Mallory:

The main takeaway from Chapter 8?  It takes being curious to figure out what you’re being held up on.  The other main takeaway?  Asking for help is NOT a sign of weakness!

We don’t have to do all of it alone.  We were never meant to.

Once again, Brené’s powerful storytelling takes us through her own Rising Strong process so that we can learn to do it ourselves.  From homelessness to our own vulnerabilities, this chapter (once again) does not disappoint.  Asking for help requires becoming vulnerable.  We have to admit to ourselves where the gaps are in order to ask someone else to help fill them.  During my own treatments, my husband and I hunkered down.  We got by.  We didn’t ask for much and we felt lonely and isolated in return.  While young adult cancer will do that to you anyway, if I were to do it all over again, I’d ask for help again and again.  Even if it is “help” watching a funny movie, or taking a walk around the neighborhood, asking someone into your own life and existence creates meaningful connection and love.

 

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Thanks for joining us for our Chapter 8: Easy Mark of Rising Strong!  Join in next Monday for Chapter 9: Composting Failure and in the meantime, learn more about the book club commentators!

If you’re just joining us, here are some logistics:

We will talk about a chapter each Monday until the book is done.  Then, we’ll use one more Monday to talk about general feelings from the book and anything else you’d like to discuss.  Join in, in the comments every week!  At the end, we’ll have a book club discussion via video chat!  Also, there will probably be spoilers.  Read along with us!

How are you enjoying our young adult cancer book club?

Welcome to the comments and discussion of Chapter 7: The Brave And Brokenhearted of the book, Rising Strong by Brené Brown!  Catch up on Chapter 1: The Physics of Vulnerability,  Chapter 2: Civilization Stops at the Waterline, Chapter 3: Owning Our Stories, Chapter 4: The Reckoning, Chapter 5: The Rumble, and Chapter 6: Sewer Rats And Scofflaws.

Let’s get started!  Chapter 7!

Mallory:

This chapter discusses loss, longing, grief, expectations, compassion, and so much more.  I think I always use that phrase, “so much more.”  Brené’s combination of storytelling and researched guided psychology is effortless to read, yet deep and poignant.  I often find myself reading sentences more than once to really let the words sink in.  I think the chapter’s greatest takeaway was from C. S. Lewis, “To love at all is to be vulnerable.”

What thoughts did you have on the chapter?

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Thanks for joining us for our Chapter 7: The Brave And Brokenhearted of Rising Strong!  Join in next Monday for Chapter 8: Easy Mark and in the meantime, learn more about the book club commentators!

If you’re just joining us, here are some logistics:

We will talk about a chapter each Monday until the book is done.  Then, we’ll use one more Monday to talk about general feelings from the book and anything else you’d like to discuss.  Join in, in the comments every week!  At the end, we’ll have a book club discussion via video chat!  Also, there will probably be spoilers.  Read along with us!

How are you enjoying our young adult cancer book club?

Welcome to the comments and discussion of Chapter 6: Sewer Rats And Scofflaws of the book, Rising Strong by Brené Brown!  Catch up on Chapter 1: The Physics of Vulnerability,  Chapter 2: Civilization Stops at the Waterline, Chapter 3: Owning Our Stories, Chapter 4: The Reckoning, and Chapter 5: The Rumble.

Let’s get started!  Chapter 6!

Mallory:

This chapter was a bit longer than some of the others but absolutely amazing.  I felt like I was sitting in a really supportive therapy session the whole time, listening to everything I needed to hear in exactly that moment.  In this chapter, Brené explores deeply the idea of whether we come from the assumption that everyone around us is trying their best, with the tools they have.  She talks about what this means about our wholeheartedness, about how willing we are to believe in our self-worth and be vulnerable.  She says, “I had discovered that the most compassionate people I interviewed also had the most well-defined and well-respected boundaries….I lived the opposite way:  I assumed that people weren’t doing their best so I judged them and constantly fought being disappointed, which was easier than setting boundaries.  Boundaries are hard when you want to be liked and when you are a pleaser…”

Setting boundaries, respecting ourselves making it easier to respect others, and deciding what is ok and what is not….Brené lays it all out, and more.

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Thanks for joining us for our Chapter 6: Sewer Rats And Scofflaws of Rising Strong!  Join in next Monday for Chapter 7: The Brave And Brokenhearted and in the meantime, learn more about the book club commentators!

If you’re just joining us, here are some logistics:

We will talk about a chapter each Monday until the book is done.  Then, we’ll use one more Monday to talk about general feelings from the book and anything else you’d like to discuss.  Join in, in the comments every week!  At the end, we’ll have a book club discussion via video chat!  Also, there will probably be spoilers.  Read along with us!

How are you enjoying our young adult cancer book club?

Welcome to the comments and discussion of Chapter 5: The Rumble of the book, Rising Strong by Brené Brown!  Catch up on Chapter 1: The Physics of Vulnerability,  Chapter 2: Civilization Stops at the Waterline, Chapter 3: Owning Our Stories, and Chapter 4: The Reckoning.

Let’s get started!  Chapter 5!

Mallory:

Cancer has brought about so many needs to Reckon and Rumble in my life.  I’m sure this is true of people who have not experienced cancer as a young adult but many of my own, personal examples involve cancer.  Brené Brown talks extensively of the initial stories, conspiracies, and confabulations we tell ourselves in a moment of distress or discomfort.  The stories we first use to explain a situation.  A therapist of mine, when talking about situations where she recognized her tendency to self-harm with her internal dialogue, where her initial story was to blame herself, would instead say, “I could hurt myself with that,” and then redirect her thinking to a mode of curiosity.  I continually attempt to adopt this in my everyday life.  Some days are better than others, I assure you, but it is a simple and easy trick to try and start becoming curious about your emotions and feelings before any self-harm happens in that initial story telling.

A good, yet very simple, example is when I was feeling sick after a chemo treatment.  I was tired and had spent much of the day watching dumb reality television on Netflix.  When I started thinking about the dishes that could be washed, or the laundry that could be put away, or the research paper that could be finished, I immediately started with the internal name calling.  I labeled myself as lazy, useless, and several other names.  Then, thinking back to a session with my therapist, I said out loud, “I could hurt myself with that.”  It was almost like a challenge, with the unspoken assumption that I could hurt myself with that, but I am choosing not to.  I could choose to not call myself names that had very little footing when one looked at the rest of my day-to-day habits or accomplishments, and see what my body was telling me that today I needed to give myself some space for relaxation and recovery.  Dealing with the vulnerability of my body needing this time of doing “nothing” was hard for me.  It was scary and frightening and so calling myself lazy was a method of self-protection.  It was easier telling myself that I was lazy, than dealing with being sick.

This is what the rumble means in my life.  I stop, think, “I could hurt myself with that,” and use the opportunity to become curious and ask the other, hard questions.  Brené Brown offers many, wonderful insights into how we look at those initial stories.  This chapter is a gem.

P.S.  HAPPY HALLOWEEN!  Boo!

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Thanks for joining us for our Chapter 5: The Rumble of Rising Strong!  Join in next Monday for Chapter 6: Sewer Rats And Scofflaws and in the meantime, learn more about the book club commentators!

If you’re just joining us, here are some logistics:

We will talk about a chapter each Monday until the book is done.  Then, we’ll use one more Monday to talk about general feelings from the book and anything else you’d like to discuss.  Join in, in the comments every week!  At the end, we’ll have a book club discussion via video chat!  Also, there will probably be spoilers.  Read along with us!

How are you enjoying our young adult cancer book club?